Category: Bullshit

  • Lily Allen, Halo 3 ODST

    Today’s Guardian reports that Lily Allen’s blog had been removed due to online abuse, but neglects to mention that the abuse was over her own copyright infringement. Earlier in the day Lily Allen, one of the few younger artists to speak out against online piracy, said she was dropping her public campaign against copyright theft…

  • Perhaps it’s Scotland’s politicians that need “rebalancing”

    Oh joy, the new Scottish booze legislation comes into force today. Supermarkets are reorganising their displays, pubs are spending thousands of pounds on applying for new licenses (which, in the case of North Lanarkshire, mean some 25 pubs won’t legally be able to sell booze from today due to delays in the application process. Council…

  • Mr Ballmer goes to Cupertino

    Yesterday, Steve Jobs went to Microsoft. Today, I’ve put Steve Ballmer in the top job at Apple. Can I get through an entire article without mentioning the monkey dance? Ballmer may be best known online for his infamous Monkey Dance That’ll be a no, then.

  • Steve Jobs has moved to Microsoft

    Not really. But what would he do if he was there? Let the fun commence: Unless Windows Mobile 7 is a ground-up rebuild – which we doubt – then Mr Jobs would can it, put the entire development team into a dungeon and refuse to let them out until they built something insanely great. I…

  • Remember that Digital Britain thing? Forget it. The government has

    Me on Techradar: Sometimes we think we’re living in Groundhog Day. “We’re going to cut off illegal downloaders!” the government will cry, before abandoning the plans. The next day, “We’re going to cut off illegal downloaders!” The next day… you get the idea. Guess what’s happened today? That’s right! The government’s going to cut off…

  • When readers won’t behave

    This is brilliant: The Guardian hosts a reader Q&A with Neal’s Yard Remedies, an ethical beauty/homeopathic remedy company. The readers duly post questions and NY changes its mind about participating. [Via MetaFilter] Linked below is a book [NY sells] on ‘Homoeopathy for Mother and Baby’. Given that homoeopathy has never been shown to have any…

  • And journalists wonder why everybody hates them

    On the 8th of March, the Scottish Sunday Express ran a contemptible piece of shit by Paula Murray about the survivors of the Dunblane massacre. There’s a PDF link here. For some mysterious reason, the paper has wiped the online version. As Chicken Yoghurt puts it: If only the doctors and counsellors who treated the…

  • Satan lives in England

    Sounds about right to me… A BAFFLED gran told last night how she discovered the Devil’s footprints — in sleepy Devon. I loved this bit: Scientists from the Centre for Fortean Zoology inspected the prints, which were 5ins long with a stride of between 11 and 17ins… But the CFZ experts believe both tracks could…

  • Ban this evil vaccine!

    Guess which newspaper? More than 1,300 schoolgirls have experienced adverse reactions to the controversial cervical cancer jab. Doctors have reported that girls aged just 12 and 13 have suffered paralysis, convulsions and sight problems after being given the vaccine. Everybody panic! Why, out of nearly 3/4 of a million vaccinations: Their latest analysis found there…

  • Cutting the UK speed limit: here comes the consultation

    It’s hard to disagree with Devil’s Kitchen on the government’s upcoming consultation on lower speed limits (inevitably the full post is very sweary): Yes, it will be like the recent smoking one, highlighted by my colleague, in which the opinions of those who oppose the proposals will disappear into thin air whilst the responses that…