Archive for October, 2005
Jack Thompson bad, Penny Arcade good
There’s a fantastic drama taking place in the world of gaming: outspoken lawyer Jack Thompson, arch-enemy of Grand Theft Auto creators Rockstar games, challenged the gaming community to build a rather sick game where the targets would be games developers. He promised to give $10,000 to charity if the game ever appeared. Naturally enough, the gaming community created the game (or rather, lots of games - there’s already several versions out there).
The mod by Old Grandma Hardcore is inspired.
It’s a mod for the PC version of San Andreas which lets you take on the role of Thompson himself “As he lives through an insane weekend which changes his life,” according to the authors.
After receiving a series of mysterious phone calls, Jack falls under a hypnotic spell and transforms into his criminal vigilante alter-ego, Banman, who goes on to “Commit violent acts in the name of Thompson’s morality” - such as destroying trucks trying to deliver copies of Rockstar’s Bully to stores.
He also embarks on a mission to catch Entertainment Software Association president Doug Lowenstein in the act of exchanging filthy Sims pics with a hacker - and subsequently hosts a press conference, where you get to choose Jack’s comments. Around 85 per cent of them are things he’s actually said in real life.
Thompson’s reaction? He’s miffed, and now claims his promise to give cash to charity was part of a complex Swiftian satire, or something. So Penny Arcade has donated the same sum to charity instead.
More proof that Suck.com was ahead of its time
Suck.com predicts Web 2.0 - nine years ago.
[via Waxy.org]
TV firms reckon Apple’s prices are too low
TV industry logic: selling 320×240 video for more than the cost of a DVD is too cheap. Apparently TV industry execs aren’t happy with Apple’s iTunes TV prices.
The top 40 magazine covers of the last 40 years
An interesting one for magazine junkies: the American Society of Magazine Editors has picked its top 40 covers from the last 40 years.
Here’s the press release, which explains some of the choices.
[Via MetaFilter]
Biometrics: bad news for baldies
As the government tries yet again to get the ridiculously expensive, doomed invasion of privacy - sorry, I mean ID cards bill - through Parliament, The Independent lists the people who are likely to be mis-identified by biometric systems:
Bald men
Manual labourers
Pianists
Guitarists
People who do a lot of typing
Twins
Disabled people
Elderly people
Black people
People with eye problems
Accident victims
People who were scanned in “the wrong kind of light”
Video iPod means Christmas bukkake
If you think that headline’s bad, you should see the ones I rejected. Heh.
A computer firm is warning everyone about a worrying new development: PodPorn! Yes, by adding a tiny screen to the iPod, Apple has paved the way for all kinds of digital depravity and “iPod shuffle” will take on a whole new meaning.
The press release is from Solid Oak Software, makers of CyberSitter, and according to the firm’s boss Brian Milburn:
“Gone are the days when little Johnny would steal his dads’ Playboy and share it with the other kids behind the dumpster during recess. Now they will be showing full color, stereo, high definition porn clips.”
That’s full colour, stereo, high definition porn clips on a 2.5″ screen. Little Johnny, you will go blind!!!!!!!
The story continues:
“You have to ask yourself whether little Johnny would rather download the latest episode of ‘Desperate Housewives’, or a steamy adult video.” says Milburn.
I think we all know the answer to that.
There is a serious point to the story, which is that porn purveyors are very good at adopting new technology. Porn sites run blogs, publish RSS feeds and so on, so I’m sure the “PornCasts” described in the press release already exist. However, the focus on the iPod seems a bit weird to me: it’s hardly the first portable video player, and like most other portable video devices you need to hook it up to a computer to transfer any content. Computers, of course, have been perfectly capable of porn video playback for years.
“Come Christmas morning when hundreds of thousands of ‘Little Johnny’s’ find a new video iPod under the tree, they will already know where to get the porn to put on it.”
Johnny! Teh pr0n is on daddy’s computar!
[Thanks to Gusto for the press release]
Bigots on bittorrent
One of the depressing things about bittorrent is its embrace by idiots: if you browse the torrent sites you’ll soon discover that piss-poor hate bands such as Skrewdriver are alive and well, and that sectarian shite is widely available. This little gem is titled “Glasgow Rangers FC”:
Total Film online at last
Must-haves
Various newspapers - the Daily Mail, the Sun and so on - are describing the latest iPod as a “must-have”. This really bugs me: it’s nice, sure, and if you don’t have a portable music player then it should definitely be on your shopping list (assuming you actually want a portable music player, of course). But the phrase itself gets on my nerves and turns me into a pale imitation of the narrator from Fight Club.
A quick news search uncovers the following must-haves:
The new iPod
Sony’s PSP
The Dremel Pumpkin Carving Kit
The latest version of Skype
Sheepskin Ugg boots
Donna Karan handbag
Vintage posters
Smaller cabinets for Plasma TVs
A chaise longue
A mobile phone
The Girl Krisis Kit (a handbag organiser)
A document shredder
An Apple computer
Nutrients for healthy hair
Aromatherapy gift sets
A Subaru Impreza WRX
Goats
The American Pie Trilogy box-set
A home CCTV system
A sparkly watch
Harry Potter toys
A copy of a Caravaggio painting
Food, shelter and good health
I made that last one up.
Private Eye cover genius
