Hurrah for Ealing Primary Care Trust, which has decided to liven up people’s cigarette breaks by providing people you can punch. At least, I think that’s the idea.

‘Smoking police’ will target people at betting shops, bus stops and shopping centres to shock them into giving up cigarettes… A team of 11 young people have been employed to approach smokers, in a similar way to charity fund-raisers  -  nicknamed ‘chuggers’  -  who ask passers-by for donations.

Not to be outdone, it seems that the Scottish NHS wants to give fat people the opportunity to punch complete strangers too. As the inimitable Mr E puts it, responding to the story that “Armed with measuring tapes to check waists and equipment to test blood pressure, the “Street Nurses” are policing busy shopping centres, supermarkets and community centres. Any man with a paunch, or woman with an “apple-shaped” body whose waist measurement is higher than recommended limits is given diet and lifestyle advice or referred to local slimming classes”:

if there are people out there who honestly and genuinely believe that it is the role of government to walk the streets policing this shit, then we have a real fucking problem here.