Author: Carrie

  • Why self publishing sucks (for me)

    We’ve been talking about publishing (or rather, not getting published), and G24 points out:

    You don’t need a publisher these days any more than you need pulped up trees to print on.

    I agree entirely, but I don’t think self publishing is the right road for me. There are lots of reasons for that, but the biggest one is this: I’d rather spend my time writing than marketing, because I’m bloody awful at marketing.

    I think self publishing can work, but I think it only works for very specific kinds of writing and for very specific kinds of people. I think in most cases those kinds of writing are the ones that the mainstream publishing industry doesn’t serve particularly well – sci-fi and fantasy, for example, or erotica, or poetry, or books by famous bloggers. And I think in most cases those kinds of people are those so passionate that they’ll devote extraordinary amounts of time, effort and money for precious little reward.

    One of the big problems with self publishing is that it can cost money. To do it properly, even if you’re online-only, you’ll need to be, or pay for, an editor, a proofreader, a designer, a publicist, a social media marketer and so on. If you can do all those things yourself, I’ve got nothing but admiration for you, because you’re much more talented than I am. And if you can afford to pay for all of those things yourself, you’re much richer than I am.

    Another problem, to me at least, is that self publishing doesn’t give you the editorial process you get with a mainstream agent and publisher. I’ve spent thirteen-odd years being edited, and I can honestly say that with very few exceptions the editorial process has made my writing better. I don’t just mean proofreading here; I mean the whole process, especially the bit where the editor says “that’s a terrible idea. Why don’t you…?” In fiction, having the input of agents and editors who eat, sleep and drink fiction is enormously useful, I think.

    I’m convinced that no matter how good the writer, they can benefit from a good editor.

    Another big problem is that the money isn’t there yet. The Kindle Store, Apple’s iBooks and so on are good business for the companies that run them, because 1 million authors selling 100 copies each is a nice little revenue stream. But if you’re the author of one of those books, that’s bugger-all money.

    The authors making money from ebooks are the ones whose books you see in ASDA – the Stieg Larssons and Stephenie Meyers. There’s a visibility problem with electronic publishing, which is why the ebook charts are dominated by writers with agents, big-name publishers and enormous marketing budgets. We’ve seen exactly the same thing with music: despite the democratisation of music from PC-based studios and Internet distribution, if you want to do big numbers you still need to have a big label behind you.

    I don’t want to be online-only, incidentally: I like real, printed books, and my enormous rampaging ego would quite like to see my name on a poster in the window of Waterstone’s. And that means self publishing is even less attractive.

    As Jane Smith points out on How Publishing Really Works:

    it would be difficult to hire anyone competent to sell your books on percentage, as each bookshop visit would barely cover the travelling costs incurred even if every bookshop approached took half a dozen copies each.

    Even if you do the legwork yourself you’re still likely to end up losing money because of those travelling costs, and because you will only be able to cover a very small part of the country.

    Commercial publishers have their own sales and distribution networks in place. Their sales representatives frequently visit every bookshop in the country, and discuss their new and forthcoming books.

    Commercial publishers also have publicity departments which routinely send out stacks of review copies to TV programmes, newspapers and magazines, to ensure that potential readers will get to hear about each book as it is released.

    The self-publisher simply cannot match this vast sales machine, and so is unlikely to sell anything like as many books: few self-published titles sell more than one hundred copies, while most commercially-published books sell more than a thousand.

    Incidentally, that also demonstrates just how much the odds are stacked against you: even with the backing of a decent agent and a good publisher, few writers sell lots of books. But the numbers are even smaller with self-publishing.

    This takes me back to my first point, which is that I’d rather spend my time writing than marketing because I’m not particularly good at marketing. Having already spent the best part of two years writing something that, for now at least, mainstream publishers aren’t keen on, I think my time would be better spent writing something that will sell rather than doing a half-arsed marketing job that might generate a couple of hundred quid somewhere down the line. Self promotion, sadly, isn’t one of my talents.

  • Ready, fire, aim! Something to check before you write a novel

    Remember that book I was writing? I thought I’d post an update.

    After a lot of work, eight drafts and two printers I’ve sent it out to some people, and I’ve had loads of feedback about it from agents and other publishing insiders. The dialogue is great. It’s really atmospheric. The characters are fun. The book is variously “quite funny”, “funny”, “very funny” and “extremely funny”.

    Nobody wants to take it on.

    Apparently it’s not the writing, but the genre*. It’s a comic thriller, and comic thrillers are the red-headed stepchild of the mainstream fiction business. Everyone knows they exist, but nobody wants them in their publishing house.

    If I’d known that two years ago it might have saved me quite a bit of effort.

    So here’s a top tip. If you want to write novels – that is, if you want to write novels that get published – then it might be an idea to do what Ian Rankin did before you start plotting. Rankin looked at what sold, and concluded that Books With Cops In was the genre for him.

    As for me, I’m starting another one. I’ll tell you about it when there’s something worth saying.

    * In most cases, anyway. A few agents told me that at 67,000 words it’s just too short; for mainstream fiction publishers apparently expect 80,000 words plus or they won’t even look at it. Unfortunately for me 67K is the right length for the story, and any more would make the story sag.

    Update, June 2011: I decided to publish the book myself on Kindle, iBooks and so on. It’s called Coffin Dodgers, it’s doing quite well, and you can find out more about it here, if you like.

  • Politicians and the Internet. It’s never good

    Hello. Sorry if I’ve been quiet lately – Baby Bigmouth was a bit unwell last week so it’s all sleep deprivation around these parts. Not that that’s stopping me from getting angry about tech things. Far from it. Here’s my take on the government’s latest ISP-related idea.

    Rather than, say, reining in Google or telling Facebook to get a grip – something the European Commission thinks the UK doesn’t do properly, which is why we’re being taken to court by the Commission for failing to comply with EU privacy rules – the government wants our ISPs to start censoring.

    I can’t stress this enough: we’re not talking about illegal information here. We’re talking about information that allegedly breaches somebody’s privacy, or that “is inaccurate”. Bye, Facebook! See ya, Wikipedia!

  • How many people will Google’s car kill?

    A fascinating post by Jean-Louis Gassée on Google’s self-driving car:

    The hardware and the software will fail, no question. The real riddle is determining the socially acceptable failure rate. Today, there are about 40,000 car fatalities per year. Note the euphemistic “car fatalities” or “car accidents”, as if the drivers weren’t to blame. You can imagine the news headlines when the first self-driving car fatality happens: Killer Robot! Killer Software! (A literal killer app?). Isaac Asimov, the author of the Three Laws of Robotics will spin in his grave.

  • Windows 7 isn’t right for tablets

    Stating the bleedin’ obvious it may be, but Lenovo says Windows 7 isn’t right for tablets and that Android 2.2, aka Froyo, isn’t ready for them either.

    Lenovo’s director of new technology Howard Locker, explained it this way: “The challenge with Windows 7 is that it’s based on the same paradigm as 1985—it’s really an interface that’s optimized for a mouse and keyboard. It has to be optimized for touch. How do you do that?”

    I think the – really rather impressive – Windows Phone OS would be a better fit for tablets, and Android won’t be tablet-focused until version 3 comes out next year. On that basis I think it’s madness to buy a non-Apple tablet right now.

  • How Nokia lost the plot

    Reviews of the new Nokia N8 are coming in thick and fast, and they’re not good: the consensus is that it’s a great piece of kit hobbled by not so great software. Via The Guardian, here’s a piece in the Helsingin Sanomat that attempts to describe the problems facing Nokia and what caused them. I can’t help thinking of Microsoft when I read it.

    Hit mobile phones emerged and went into production. Devices that many people remember even today, such as the 2110 or the 6110, with its infra-red port and menu icons.
    Then along came 2000, and thereafter a decision was taken to increase the number of available Nokia handsets.
    “Two new models a year was no longer enough, but there was a perceived need to bring out as many as 40 or 50 models a year.”
    “An utterly terrifying number.”

  • A good book you can have for free

    My friend Chris Mitchell runs Spike, a most excellent books-and-interesting-things site on the Internet. And now, he’s put together a most excellent ebook version with some of the best bits from Spike’s last 15 years. And a few things I’ve written too.

    It’s a lovely thing to look at and and to read, and it’s free. Here’s who’s in it:

    Chris Abani Peter Ackroyd Douglas Adams Scott Adams Keith Altham Paul Auster Tom Baker J.G. Ballard Iain Banks John Battelle John Baxter Samuel Beckett Bellow Thomas Bernhard Maurice Blanchot Jorge Luis Borges Angela Bourke Michael Bracewell Charlie Brooker Charles Bukowski Julie Burchill Jason Burke Bryan Burrough Albert Camus Paul Celan Bruce Chatwin Annabel Chong E.M. Cioran Diablo Cody Douglas Coupland Quentin Crisp Mark Danielewski Don De- Lillo John C Diamond Stephen Dorril Patricia Duncker Nic Dunlop The Fall Stefan Fatsis Tibor Fischer Mark Fisher Michael Foot Franz Ferdinand Athol Fugard Anna Funder Alex Garland Harry Gibson William Gibson Allen Ginsberg Graham Greene Peter Guralnick Half Man Half Biscuit Keith Haring Bill Hicks Tom Hodgkinson Gert Hofmann Nick Hornby Michel Houellebecq Gary Indiana Derek Jarman Linton Kwesi Johnson Ed Jones Gabriel Josipovici Kevin Kelly Naomi Klein Rem Koolhaas Kruder And Dorfmeister Andrey Kurkov Emma Larkin Abby Lee Wyndham Lewis Jack London Leo Marks David Markson Gabriel Garcia Marquez Bertie Marshall Cedric Mims Alan Moore Morrissey Patricia Morrisroe Cookie Mueller Ben Myers Jeff Noon Cees Nooteboom Angus Oblong Will Oldham P.J. O’Rourke Lawrence O’Toole Chuck Palahniuk Tim Parks Arvo Part Ulf Poschardt Richard Powers Thomas Pynchon Matthew Robertson Bruce Robinson Jacques Roubaud Robert Sabbag Peter Saville Alberto Sciamma WG Sebald Will Self Tupac Shakur Mark Simpson Iain Sinclair Michael Marshall Smith Sonic Youth Ralph Steadman Suicide Damo Suzuki Swans David Sylvian David Thomas Hunter S. Thompson Colm Toibin Amos Tutuola Stuart Walton Alan Warner Evelyn Waugh Belinda Webb Irvine Welsh The White Stripes Tony Wilson

    If you download it — which you should — and you like it — which I think you will — Chris would be very happy if you could share the download link with others.

  • iPads are ace, but we still need netbooks

    Me at Techradar: there are still areas where netbooks are better than iPads.

    … [Adobe] Flash. Sure, there are reasons to loathe it, but in my house my wife matters more than Steve Jobs, and many of my wife’s favourite sites use Flash. Until they see the light and switch to something else, the iPad isn’t a fully functional web browser.

    It’s not just Flash, either. Some things simply don’t work, either because of overzealous browser sniffers that don’t recognise Mobile Safari (“Your browser is old or strange! You can’t come in!”) or because of a lack of testing. For example, I’ve found many sites that use RBS Secure card authentication don’t work on the iPad because the box that asks for your password doesn’t display at all.

  • Orange owners, meet T-Mobile. T-Mobile owners, meet Orange

    Orange and T-Mobile customers can now roam across each firms’ networks, although for now it’s only 2G (ie. calls and texts, not Internet). You’ll need to sign up for it.

    If you’re on Orange, you need this link.

    If you’re on T-Mobile, you need this one.

  • The problem with books: they’re too quiet

    Books are rubbish. They just sit there with their words and their plots and their characterisation and their background detail. Where’s the fun in that? What books need is… 3D audio clips!

    From the press release:

    Pan Macmillan Marketing Director Becky Ikin said:

    ‘We wanted to celebrate the phenomenal global publication of Ken Follett’s Fall of Giants with a genuinely exciting digital offering that built on Ken’s unique ability to take readers back in time to the sights and sounds of his period – in this new epic, World War I. 3D sound is something the games industry is beginning to dabble in, film is investing in 3D visuals and we think it’s exciting for the book industry to be experimenting in this way. So far books have looked at video or audio to sit alongside or after the main text (they force you to switch from reading the book) but this is a genuine ‘enhancement’ and far beyond the usual audio experience. It just hopefully fires your imagination alongside the author’s words.

    There’s an iPad version too, where “sound files have been embedded into the ebook”. Personally I can’t think of anything I’d like less, but if you’re interested the website is over here.