When I came out, I knew it would probably mean spending the rest of my life alone.
A new study suggests Iâ€™m right.
Two Canadian researchers recently asked almost 1000 cisgender folks if they would date a trans person in a new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
…Virtually all heterosexuals excluded trans folks from their dating pool: only 1.8% of straight women and 3.3% of straight men chose a trans person of either binary gender. But most non-heterosexuals werenâ€™t down for dating a trans person either, with only 11.5% of gay men and 29% of lesbians being trans-inclusive in their dating preferences. Bisexual/queer/nonbinary participants (these were all combined into one group) were most open to having a trans partner, but even among them, almost half (48%) did not select either â€˜trans manâ€™ or â€˜trans woman.â€™
Itâ€™s not a surprising finding, although as with any study there are various caveats and considerations. But itâ€™s indicative of the way weâ€™re seen by wider society. As the Them.us article puts it:
The high rates of trans exclusion from potential dating pools are undoubtedly due in part to cisnormativity, cissexism, and transphobia â€” all of which lead to lack of knowledge about transgender people and their bodies, discomfort with these unknowns, and fear of being discriminated against by proxy of oneâ€™s romantic partner.
Itâ€™s very hard to accept yourself when you know that many others donâ€™t see you as normal, let alone desirable.