Apple is dooooooooomed!

Me, on Techradar:

When I got up this morning, one of my dogs had crapped on the kitchen floor, my mobile was showing No Service and the coffee machine spat out hot water instead of coffee.

“This can only mean one thing,” I said to myself. “Apple is DOOOOOOMED!”

The article contains the phrase “diminutive dog doodle”. If my careers officer could see me now…