If you’re desperate for dispatches from the white heat of the technological revolution, this is not the blog for you today – but if you want to know whether a Breville microwave is a piece of shit, then boy have you come to the right place.

Is the Breville Solo VMW187 microwave oven a piece of shit?

Yes! Yes, it is!

I’ve just taken back my second one: the first one’s LCD display packed up after eight hours, and the second one’s door-open button jammed after a fortnight. It’s not worth the £50 I paid, let alone the £99 RRP.

Next week I’ll slag off a toaster, or something.