Luv & Hat is a funny blog by Stuart Heritage, who writes for The Guardian, and Robyn Wilder, who is a woman. Each post takes a single subject and one of the duo praises it while the other damns it. Today’s post on cinemas made me laugh.

Nothing else is worse than going to the cinema. Nothing else in the world. Having a nosebleed is better than going to the cinema. Falling down the stairs is better than going to the cinema. Catching a sexually transmitted disease from a zoo animal, then drinking a pint of someone else’s sick and then taking a naked tour of a wasp factory while a crying pensioner describes the last ten minutes of Requiem For a Dream to you in graphic detail is better than going to the cinema. The subtext of this paragraph is that I don’t really like going to the cinema very much.