“I swear if someone touches my kids I’ll do time”

I’m increasingly convinced that, with the honourable exception of this site, you should never read beyond the end of a product listing or online article. Comments are where the crazies live.

As you may have noticed, Kate McCann has written a book about her daughter’s abduction and the aftermath. Over to you, Amazon reviewer Matthew Charles.

I dont understand why this particular case is of such high knowing, kids get kidnaped all the time and while yes it is sad escpeically for the parents, i dont get why this one is so important.

plus no one seems to mention the fact that the parents left their children alone in a hotel room while they went out for dinner, everyone seems to leave out that little detail.

and if u ask me its a little sick to publish a book, if peopel really think all the money is goign to the cahrity then… thats just ridiculous thinking.

39 out of 75 people found that review helpful.

Prolific reader Matthew has reviewed one other book, Pat Reeat’s “Whatever happened to the English?”, which he reckons is “truly a work of art”. He says:

An incredibly well written take on modern england… oh sorry I meant “united kingdom” no doubt the police will arrest me for making that simple mistake rather than stopping actual crime.
What has this country come too!!!?????

Indeed. What has it come too!!!?????


[The quote in the title is from Private Eye – it’s a running joke in the magazine’s From The Message Boards section.]





0 responses to ““I swear if someone touches my kids I’ll do time””

  1. Squander Two

    And what’s he on about anyway? No-one leaves out that detail. The mistake bastards make is in thinking that the McCanns therefore deserved what happened. What they deserved was for someone to tell them not to be so bloody stupid, not to have their child stolen. And, of course, Madeleine didn’t deserve to be kidnapped and probably abused and murdered just to teach her parents a rather trivial lesson.

  2. Gary

    > No-one leaves out that detail.

    Yep. It’s in every negative review I’ve seen. Along with wisdom such as “children get abducted every day”, as if parents of missing kids should just go “Oh well, them’s the breaks. Still, didn’t get them all, eh?” and carry on regardless. I saw one amazon reviewer saying “Beware: this is an angry book”. What did he or she expect? A laugh riot?

    > The mistake bastards make is in thinking that the McCanns therefore deserved what happened.

    There’s something extraordinarily vicious about it.

  3. It’s like people are getting their ethics from some Tenth-Century morality tale. “The little boy did insist on sucking his thumbs, so the big scary giant CUT THEM OFF WITH SHEARS AND BEAT HIM.” “The good wise man asked his daughters what they thought of him, but when he deemed his youngest daughter’s compliment insufficiently effusive, he THREW HER OUT OF THE HOUSE TO WANDER THE LAND IN RAGS.”

  4. Gary

    Haha, yes.

    I’m always amazed by people’s willingness to believe extremely unlikely shit. They look at the McCanns, and they look at the Portuguese cops, and they decide that those cops are super cops who are the bestest cops in the world ever. Therefore, if there’s no evidence against the McCanns, it means that the McCanns are the most evil criminal masterminds the world has ever seen. I mean, they must be! They’ve outsmarted the bestest cops in the world! The only other explanation, that the portuguese cops are lazy, incompetent and corrupt, just doesn’t make any sense!

    It’s not just the McCanns, of course. Last two days on social networks people have been posting “OMG! Scientists cured cancer but there’s no drug because big pharma can’t patent it!” Because the alternative – that scammers and quacks are bigging up some potentially promising research, labelling it THE DRUG BIG PHARMA DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT and completely fucking over desperate people – doesn’t make sense!

    That one annoyed me.

    There’s also the problem of people thinking IF THIS IS BAD THEN THAT IS BAD TOO – so when the papers crucified some faintly suspicious bloke, that means the McCanns are bastards. David Cameron’s odious populism means the McCanns are bastards. And so on.

    It’s as if there are loads of fucking idiots out there, or something.

  5. > It’s as if there are loads of fucking idiots out there, or something.

    Burst my bubble, why don’t you.

  6. For some really sensible and well informed comments, see here.

  7. Gary

    That’s hellish.