Baby Bigmouth is teething again – the big, sore teeth – and proving that God doesn’t exist: no intelligent designer would have come up with a design where teeth take years to come in, causing great pain. If God existed we’d have big holes in our jaws and our teeth would pop out like flick-knives.

It proves that evolution’s bunk too. The noises an angry, teething toddler makes run counter to the survival of the species. It’s a miracle the human race is still here, it really is.