One of the people I follow on Twitter had a problem the other day: he needed to shave, but his shaving foam had been confiscated by airport security and nothing nearby was open. Any ideas? I did: somewhere in the back of my brain I knew, probably from a novel or a worthy newspaper piece, that you could use hair conditioner. It’s all about lubricating the blade, you see. He tried it, it worked, and that’s the end of a not particularly interesting story.

But it got me wondering, what mad crap is hanging around in your head? I mean mad crap of the Top Tips variety, such as “if you’ve got three old toilet rolls and some duct tape, you can MAKE A TANK!” or “you can get red wine out of a tablecloth by rubbing a small labrador against it” rather than voices telling you to kill people.