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New “words” that drive me nuts

I know, it’s not like me, but these drive me crazy. Any additional suggestions will, of course, be welcome:

Webinar

Short for web-based seminar: a presentation, workshop or seminar delivered over the Web. So why not call it a presentation, workshop or seminar?

Webisode

An episode, delivered via the Web. We don’t talk about tellysodes or radiosodes or bookysodes, do we? Not even Russell Brand does that. And that’s because it would make us sound like twats.

NuLabour

This crops up a lot in newspaper readers’ comments – as does its even worse friend, NuLab. It is, of course, a contraction of New Labour. Whatever the original intention, today it makes me think the poster thinks they’re really clever in a studenty kind of way. Because, like, we’re taking the New Labour branding and, you know, rebranding the rebranding! We’re using their own media spin against them! Oh, fuck off.

Tweeple

People who use Twitter. Every time I see it I think of Bonnie Langford as Violet Elizabeth in Just William. Come on, we’re supposed to be adults. If this one takes off the human race is doomed. Doomed!

8 replies on “New “words” that drive me nuts”

Is there a twanker? ;-)

I really hate the term sheeple. It’s one of those words that just oozes smugness. The same people that use it also tend to use Micro$oft and M$.

I second “sheeple”. Using it is like waving a huge red flag proclaiming your sub-standard personality. Which, come to think of it, many people should be forced to do.

It’s not a new one, but I bloody hate “guesstimate”. It means “guess”. So say “guess”! Aaaarggh!

To “NuLabour” I would have to add every single word and phrase that people who are into politics think are witty. I started this aversion back when Labour people started referring to Paddy Ashdown as “Paddy Pantsdown”. Get it? ‘Cause he had an affair! Puntastic! Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha. The fact that people with this level of humour go into politics explains a lot.

Oh, and every contraction of two celebs’ names because they’re an item. “Benifer” was quite funny. Repeating the same trick with every single bloody couple is lame.

Oh, and adding the suffix “gate” to any political scandal. Just think: if Watergate were to happen today, it’d be called “Watergategate”. Great.

And I hate it when people add version numbers to things which aren’t software releases. “Business plan 2 point O.” Fuck off.

“going forward” meaning “from now on”. Horribly clunky.

And “bling”.

I will now go and buy a tweed suit and complain about youngsters.

>>Oh, and adding the suffix “gate” to any political scandal.

Never understood that one.

I can’t stand the word “organigram”, but it is even more annoying when “organogram” is used instead.

One phrase that I see a lot is “creamy bokeh” (Bokeh is a photography term describing the aesthetics of the blur in the background of an image. It is a qualitative thing not just a description of a blurry background) Boke is a japanese word that has various meanings but some of which are close to “fuzzy” or “blurry” (there is one that is something like “old person with cobwebs in hair”) and some magazine hack added the h because he thought people wouldn’t pronounce it right otherwise. (Karaokeh, anyone?) There’s something about the term creamy fuzzy that just doesn’t sound right. It doesn’t help that most people I hear using it are just being pretentious anyway (using it to describe anything with a blurry background. These are the same sort of people who refuse to use the word picture or photo (Capture) and often use terms like “nice DoF”. Wankers.)

Sheeple. Aaaagh aaaagh aaaagh aaaagh.

@mupwangle: “The same people that use it also tend to use Micro$oft and M$.”

Or MicroShaft. They are bringing teh funnay!

Teh funnay is also very annoying, unless I’m using it to be sarcastic.

@squander two: “It’s not a new one, but I bloody hate “guesstimate”. It means “guess”. So say “guess”! Aaaarggh!”

And that leads nicely into “on a daily basis” – not a word, I know, but really annoying anyway. It’s one of those unconscious things where people use four words instead of one for no good reason. I find that when I’m writing, some of them creep in, and I spot them, and I hate myself.

“Oh, and adding the suffix “gate” to any political scandal.”

BBC blogger Dave Lee used to have an entire section of his blog (daveleejblog.com) about them – he gets quite angry about “-gate”. As he put it: “Of course, the suffix arose following the Watergate scandal. But now, it’s a little tongue-in-cheek, ‘aren’t we all very clever and funny’ pun”

@mupwangle: “These are the same sort of people who refuse to use the word picture or photo (Capture) and often use terms like “nice DoF”.”

There are tech equivalents to that, but thankfully my brain has repressed any memory of the terms used.

@squander two: “I will now go and buy a tweed suit and complain about youngsters.”

I’m considering renaming this blog “Get Off My Lawn”.

You totally should. That would be the best blog name ever apart from “Chase Me, Ladies, I’m In The Cavalry”.

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