Art? My 15-month-old could do that.

Baby Bigmouth drew with crayons for the first time today, scrawling all over the paper, cackling, and trying to eat the ones with the most interesting colours.

Would it make me a bad person if I pinned it to the fridge, ordered visitors to look at it and – with a straight face – drew their attention to areas of specific artistic interest, babbling on in an appropriately wanky style about Baby B’s burgeoning artistic talent, and making it obvious that if they dared suggest it was just a bunch of marks on paper I’d hit them with a frying pan?

It would?

Sheesh. You people are no fun.