Once again I’m buried under deadline mountain, so here’s some odds and sods that don’t justify full posts in their own right:

• Jeremy Clarkson’s “cocks” theory – that is, the cocks who used to buy BMWs and drive like arseholes have generally moved to Audis – seems to be true. SG08 LRA in his spanking new A4 3.0 TDI damn near killed the Bigmouth Family at the weekend.
• Still on the Top Gear tip, the TG magazine editor’s letter this month talks about how, when it comes to driving, Britain is a nation of utter bastards – red light jumping, tailgating, box junction blocking, if-I-pretend-I-don’t-see-you-it’s-okay bastards. He’s not wrong.
• A forthcoming issue of Esquire will apparently use e-ink to make its cover flash for 90 days. We must keep this technology away from Zoo, Nuts and the celeb titles.
• The new Batman movie is showing at IMAX cinemas – which could be cool, because parts of it were actually shot in IMAX. In Glasgow, it’s on at the Glasgow Science Centre from Thursday, I think.
• Dragon’s Den. Is the cameraman drunk? Is it possible for Peter Jones to be any less likeable? Is it really necessary to put down people in the way Theo Whassisface put down the ASDA worker with big ideas? Is Hamfatter the worst band name of all time, or what?
• Builders. For fuck’s sake, it’s bad enough that you’re pissing off the neighbours by building a giant castle on the back of your house, but do the builders really need to start at 7.30am and work Sunday mornings too?
• Sick spam. We’ve had weird spam, aggressive spam and now, sick spam – today’s crop includes “Baby Torn From Mother’s Womb”. I know the spammers are just lifting and/or embellishing news stories, but do they *really* think that’s going to make people think “yeah! Gotta get me some V1AGRA!”?
• When you find yourself providing tech support on an electric whisk, and being glad of the work, does it suggest that your career isn’t quite as starry as you might have hoped? Don’t answer that one.