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Good flooring means good sex, says flooring company

Britons with real wood or laminate flooring were found to have much more active sex lives than those with carpet… Roger McLaughlan, chief executive of Floors-2-Go, commissioned the survey.

He said: “The nation’s sex lives are clearly evolving in line with our changing interior tastes. It’s great to see that people who are more diverse with their flooring have more adventurous sex lives!”

6 replies on “Good flooring means good sex, says flooring company”

Indeed. At least the Daily Star (the only other paper running the story that I can see) was honest, albeit by accident: there’s a big button below the story that says:

For more ‘news’ click here

My God, I can remember sitting in a meeting with a big flooring company three or four years ago and saying for a joke they could do a survey on whether people preferred to have it off on a rug, carpet or laminate flooring, everyone smiled…but I didn’t get the PR work!

There is a news agency that sends me regular emails showing the PR coverage they have got for their clients – in the hope of convincing me as a PR practitioner that I should be signing up for their marvellous ‘media relations’ skills – ie they write a bollocks survey and it gets coverage.

What I don’t get is why a survey saying people like shagging is good for the flooring business anyway or why a hotel chain telling us fish and chips is the greatest thing about being British matters to the hotel – okay so their name is in the paper but who thinks ‘ooh I see people with a wood floor get more nooky, I’m going to try it.”

Mutter mutter.

Our place has dodgy cream carpet everywhere and I’m hardly getting any…so maybe he’s on to something

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