Nyah nyah nyah, I’m in heaven and you’re not

Do you think The Rapture is upon us, and it’s just a matter of time before you’re spirited off to Heaven? Want to ensure your smug post-Rapture emails annoy the people Left Behind? Then you need You’ve Been Left Behind, which enables you to store up to 250MB of documents for delivery when the Second Coming occurs.

Which means that there’s no internet in Heaven.

NO INTERNET IN HEAVEN!

/ immediately starts blaspheming, coveting neighbours’ oxen, etc

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