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“I am loyal and know when to keep my big mouth shut.”

Weird, strange or funny things people have put on their CVs [via Metafilter].

Reason for leaving: “I thought the world was coming to an end.”

5 replies on ““I am loyal and know when to keep my big mouth shut.””

I don’t understand why a few of those are in there. Like

Work experience: “Two years as a blackjack and baccarat dealer. Strong emphasis on customer relations – a constant challenge considering how much money people lose and how angry they can get.”

Damn straight. I’d hire them.

And

Candidate’s hobbies included sitting on the levee at night watching alligators.

What’s wrong with that?

I love this one:

Skills: “I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home.”

Made me think instantly of Coleman.

Heh, you’re right about Coleman.

I liked this one: “I am a wedge with a sponge taped to it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone’s door to absorb as much as possible.”

These are mine:

Reason for leaving: “Pushed aside so the vice president’s girlfriend could steal my job.”

Reason for leaving last job: “Bounty hunting was outlawed in my state.”

> Candidate’s hobbies included sitting on the levee at
> night watching alligators.

> What’s wrong with that?

They didn’t bullshit enough. They should have said “keen naturalist” ;-)

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