EU finally does something to improve the quality of life

New EU rules could have a devastating effect on people’s ability to buy fireworks:

As part of the change, people will be told to retire at least 26ft after lighting a firework, as opposed to the current 16ft – effectively ruling out many displays at home.

But Tom Smith added: “Many people will no longer be able to use fireworks as they haven’t got 26ft of space in their gardens.”

As much as I hate unnecessary governmental meddling in people’s lives, the people round these parts who buy fireworks are ignorant, dog-frightening, baby-waking bastards. So they won’t be able to celebrate the fact it’s Tuesday by blowing things up for an hour? Oh, boo hoo.

/ thinks people who let off fireworks when it isn’t 5th November should be classified as terrorists and treated accordingly. Or at least tortured.

/may be in a bad mood tonight





0 responses to “EU finally does something to improve the quality of life”

  1. Gary

    Incidentally, I do know it’s a typical DM “let’s take an advisory note and pretend it’s a law” story, but I really do hate people who go fireworks crazy at the slightest opportunity. So why let facts get in the way?

  2. My father was told, while a teacher round abouts your way – if on the furthest stretch of that – that the local dealers let of when they have supplies.

  3. Just tell the tabloids that “Islamofascists” are planning to make bombs out of fireworks (fireworks are, after all, explosives, and people are already stupid enough to believe that you can build a dirty bomb using smoke alarms). Within a few days, the Daily Mail will be accusing anyone who defends fireworks of being “soft on terror” and the Government will shit themselves and ban everything bigger than a sparkler before you can say “knee jerk”. Problem solved.

  4. Aside: There’s an extract from Flat Earth News in the Statesman. Strangely it put me off reading the book.

  5. PS Aside: Erm, and extract regarding the Daily Mail

  6. Gary

    Apparently some hacks have primed their lawyers over FEN. Still fancy reading it, though.

    /off to read that link

  7. Gary

    Why did it put you off, Tony? I’ve seen some reviews suggesting the writer was unable to tell the difference between sarcasm and confession, but I don’t think it affects that story. Is it the tone? Something else?

  8. Gary

    Just tell the tabloids that “Islamofascists” are planning to make bombs out of fireworks

    Works for me :)

  9. I just found it too depressing.