Car owners! Considering leaving the safety of your driveway?

Then why not get a ball hammer and wallop every single body panel until there’s not a square centimetre of undamaged car left? That way, when you come out of Tesco and it’s been pranged again, you won’t be annoyed – because you did it first!

(Big scratch from some supermarket arse this morning, huge dent in a wheelarch from a multi-story arse yesterday. Gaaaaah)

I know a chap who uses his cameraphone to take pics of the cars next to him when he parks at Tesco, so when the inevitable happens and they scratch the crap out of his car, he can show the pics to the police. Seems like a fruitless exercise to me.