This old mouse

As a former NME reader, I love bad puns in headlines – so the more song titles or appalling plays on words I can get into a headline, the happier I am (and the more obvious and groan-inducing, the better). So today a news piece was just begging for either “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now”, or “Running To Stand Still”. And then it hit me. Both songs came out exactly 20 years ago, give or take a few months. So not only are there people out there who weren’t born when those songs were in the charts, but there are *parents* out there who weren’t born when those songs were in the charts. In terms of cultural relevancy I might as well do a pun based on a Lonnie Donegan song, or a controversial cave painting.

Put it this way: I’m rapidly approaching the point where Creationists will tell me that Husker Du never existed, because the world simply hasn’t been around that long.
Don’t believe me? The title of this post is a play on a Shakin Stevens track from 1981. Nooooooo!

It’s not just punning headlines. Like most blokes I go without shaving for a few days and then find myself wondering if I should just have a beard, but where previously it’d be a “cool/uncool” question, now it’s purely a question of whether the lack of maintenance justifies having an itchy face and a big ginger beard. Cool doesn’t come into it.

I stopped buying NME a long time ago because I had no idea who most of the bands in it were, but now I’ve stopped buying Q too, for the same reason. It’s surely just a matter of time before I start liking Uncut, because I sure as hell don’t see the appeal of the Arctic Monkeys and I couldn’t care less what My Chemical Romance or Bowling For Soup or whoever has to say. And it can’t be long before I can’t even name the bands I don’t get.

And it’s happening online too. Instant messaging was the first – to me, it’s just a major time-waster, and I don’t launch IM software because if I do, people will talk to me. Sod that. Then, Second Life. And Twitter. And MySpace. And… you get the idea. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why people use ’em, and I understand how they work.  But what I don’t have is any connection with these things, because I’m on the wrong side of the generation gap.

I’m wearing slippers as I write this.


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0 responses to “This old mouse”

  1. … as a matter of fact, I had a delightful dinner at Greg Norton’s restaurant last year, his mustache was as resplendent as ever (Husker Du were the young upstarts in Minneapolis when I was gigging full-time), and yes, I even remember Lonnie Donegan topping the charts (and how flavourful is your chewing gum?) … I find that there is still good new stuff, but I must admit that my tastes run toward quirky Icelandic Art bands…

    … Your subscription to Mojo is on its way, BTW…

    “What a drag it is getting old” – The Rolling Geezers

  2. Ms Mac

    I heard/read/saw somebody say this week that the twins and Chanelle in the Big Brother house (I know, you’re far too higbrow for rubbish like that but bear with me) were only 11 when the first Big Brother aired. It’s likely that they can’t really remember what summer was like without BB and Davina taking over their telly.

    That made me feel hideously old.

    Also, people with names like Chanelle are old enough to go out without their Mums. Soon the Blaizzes, Jaydens, Bylyndas and Taylahs will be reading the news while Lourdes, Apple and Moses will topping the charts and we’ll all be in trouble.

  3. I bought a Yankie screwdriver the other day. If that were a type of cocktail, perhaps I’d still be cool.

  4. The other day we were discussing how The Smiths are as far away to the young uns as the Beatles were to us at the time. Then a friend pointed out that Sam Tyler in Life On Mars goes back further than Marty McFly did in Back To The Future.

  5. Ben

    Gary, dont worry yourself… there’s nothing wrong with being on the other side of the generation gap with your slippers..

    .. they’ll go lovely with a ‘Mazda Bongo Friendee’ and some copies of Peoples Friend.

    ;-)

  6. I bought a rocking chair 10 years ago. Boy, must I be old….

    And what’s this “cool” thing? How do I get that? Is that any good? Are the Kings of Leon cool? Because me like them and some younger folk are telling me they’re good. Does that make me cool then? Or them uncool?

    HHHHEEEEELLLLPPPP!

  7. Gary

    I take it you don’t mean “hey man, that’s a really rockin’ chair”?

  8. I was only just born when those songs were out, but I’m wearing slippers as I write this too, so you’re not alone…

  9. Gary

    The only upside to all of this is that people are refusing to grow up, so we’re inflicting our past on The Kids. Which I’m sure annoys them immensely.

  10. No, no, a proper rocking chair, this one to be precise (yes, that’s me. On my other currently hibernating blog).

  11. Gary

    Maybe you could make it more rock by painting scary skulls on it, or something.

  12. > The other day we were discussing how The Smiths are as far away to the young uns as the Beatles were to us at the time. Then a friend pointed out that Sam Tyler in Life On Mars goes back further than Marty McFly did in Back To The Future.

    It’s like you’ve been reading my blog or something. Anyway, The Smiths are further away from today than The Beatles were from my late-Seventies childhood — nearly twice as far, in fact. (Not the The Smiths can ever be far enough away, in my opinion, but hey.)

    More alarmingly, the birth of house music is longer ago now than Beatlemania was when I was first listening to Beatles records.

  13. Flick

    Thanks for making me feel old :(

  14. Gary

    That’s the thing, though – dunno about the rest of you but I definitely don’t feel any more mature than when I was twelve. Probably because I’m not any more mature than when I was twelve.

    More alarmingly, the birth of house music is longer ago now than Beatlemania was when I was first listening to Beatles records.

    Now I’m depressed.