I am going to shoot myself in the head

…if I can’t find a way to turn off my internal jukebox. For no good reason it’s decided to fill my head with cheese at the slightest provocation, so for example I’d written the phrase “just say the word” in an email and boom! “Just say the word, woaaaah! Su-su-sudio!” kicks off in my head, Phil Sodding Collins in full effect. Playing with Dreamweaver? Dreams by that one-eyed woman starts up. A mention of satellites in a piece about GPS? Sleeping Satellite by Tasmin Bloody Archer.

Even stuff I like is starting to get annoying.

/takes painkillers

/”the drugs don’t work / they just make you worse…”

/ shoots self

10 thoughts on “I am going to shoot myself in the head

  1. Squander Two says:

    You just wait till you have a kid. You will miss these heady days when mere bad pop music is stuck in your head, rather than the themes to kid’s programs and the tinkly janglings played by mobiles and other toys.

    All together now…

    We are the sheep! We are the sheep!
    We are the sheep and here we are!

  2. Gary says:

    The worst thing you can do in these conversations is mention the birdie song.

    Sorry.

  3. Alex says:

    I have the same problem with the ‘I took my wife to the West Indies on holiday’ joke. Everytime I hear the name Jamaica my brain hops in with ‘no, she went of her own accord’.

    You can imagine how tired I got of it during the Bob Woolmer thing.

  4. tm says:

    You know that I ronan keating son about life being a rollercoaster (I don’t know and frankly I don’t care what the title is)? David once pointed out to me that the line that goes something like “I gotta ride it” sounds like he’s saying “I’ve got a rabbit”.

    Being by mr bland of ireland this song is of course total concourse music fodder, and every single time I’m standing in a shop/train station/airport/lift/anywhere-else-they-might-play-it I find my internal monologue goes like this:

    1. ….. there’s that damn ronan keating song…
    2. mentally sings along : ‘I’ve got a rabbit’
    3. Hold on, why has he got a rabbit, that’s strange thing to say.
    4. Waiting a minute, it’s not a rabbit, it just sounds like that!
    5. Arrrrrgh, I’m wasting brain cycles thinking about this damn song again!
    6. Blast you David!

    I generally use harsher language than ‘Blast you’ and I have got to the stage of having it come out loud, much to the bafflement of those around me who don’t have the benefit of the above comentary.

  5. mupwangle says:

    Mind you, I completely randomly find the tune of “Puppet on a String” going though my head with the words “Puppy on a Spring” instead.

  6. Gary says:

    > You can imagine how tired I got of it during the Bob Woolmer thing.

    Heh. I have the same thing – a kind of internal jokebox, I guess. It seems to specialise in really inappropriate gags when I’m reading or hearing about really important things.

  7. tm says:

    >Sorry. ;-D

    Erm, whoops. hit return to soon. Anyway i was going to say:

    Don’t worry about it. I can’t blame you for Ronan Keating, and it *really* does sound like he’s saying I’ve got a rabbit ;-)

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