Nothing much happens in my wee corner of suburbia, other than the odd crazed pensioner driving her car off a bridge in the pedestrian precinct (this happens a lot). But not today. We seem to be having a Big Issue turf war.

Until very recently there was one Big Issue seller in the town centre (which isn’t a very big town centre), and his pitch is  just outside Marks & Spencer. He seems to have been replaced with a young girl, though, and an older woman. And another older woman. And a bloke. And another bloke. Depending on the time of day, they’ll be in the main street, outside Tesco, outside Marks & Sparks, at the train station or somewhere else entirely.

One of the blokes tends to favour Tesco, but apparently there was a fist-fight between him and a rival seller in the supermarket car park yesterday. This is according to a Tesco employee, who was telling this to the police. She was calling the police because today, the bloke is hanging around the junction where Tesco traffic joins a dual carriageway. Apparently he’s been perfecting his sales pitch, and today it involves jumping in front of cars and haranguing the occupants.

Needless to say I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. I suspect the new arrivals may be commuters from Glasgow. Is anyone else finding Big Issue sellers jumping in front of cars and punching one another in their previously peaceful town centres?