Remember my eBay problems, where they spotted and removed fraudulent transactions wrongly pegged to my account and promised to credit the listing fees? They’re still ongoing, and my account is still locked. I’m beginning to wonder if their customer support centre was designed by Kafka:
6 Jan: I send a nice email to eBay support: “Um, I’ve written to you about this several times… what’s going on?”
7 Jan: Email from Sally Thompson. “I have arranged to credit the fee…” I reply and say thanks.
25 Jan: Email from eBay. Pay the listing fees or we’re calling the bailiffs. I email: “I’m getting really fed up with this: you promised on 6 January to remove the fraudulent fees from my account and it still hasn’t happened…”
26 Jan: Email from Daniel R, explaining how to click hyperlinks in My eBay.
26 Jan: Angry email from me, pointing out that I can’t use those hyperlinks because, as I’ve pointed out seven hundred times, they’ve locked me out of my account and everything but email is unavailable. “Hi Daniel. You’ve completely ignored my email and given me useless information: I can’t access any of the account stuff because my registration has been suspended – because a credit ebay promised to make months ago still hasn’t been made.”
28 Jan: Email from Brian W. What’s my user ID? What invoice numbers? Summoning every last ounce of patience I provide my user ID yet again and point out that I can’t access any account information, because it’s been locked. As I may have mentioned.
29 Jan: Email from eBay. Pay the listing fees or we’re calling the bailiffs. Then an email from Daniel R. It’s the same email he sent me on 26 Jan, telling me how to click on the links that aren’t available to me because my account has been locked. I manage to reply without using the words “fuck”, “fucking”, “couldn’t find your own fucking arse with both fucking hands” and “you fucking bunch of incompetent bastards, what the fuck is wrong with you people?” and politely suggest that we might make more progress if eBay actually read emails before replying to them.
Tune in next week for another exciting episode!