Um, if you think your car’s steering alignment is out, don’t go to Kwik-Fit. Or at least, don’t go to the one in Milngavie. I put the Saab in there a few weeks back to get the wheels balanced, and prepared myself for the moment when the fitter magically discovers that I need all kinds of extra work. “Can I show you this, sir?” he said. Here we go, I thought.

To be fair, though, this time the fitter was right. The wheels weren’t wearing evenly, which means the steering tracking is out. So another fitter took the car, used their magic machine to work out what the problem was, made a complete mess of it and told me my car had been damaged in a crash. Apparently the damage was so bad that they couldn’t sort the tracking completely, and they’d done the best they could.

The car was in for a service yesterday at a Saab specialist, and I asked him to look at the tracking. There’s nothing wrong with the car, he said. We’ve had loads of cars in here recently with duff tracking. Kwik-Fit doesn’t have the right kit to do it, apparently.

He showed me the results of Kwik-Fit’s tracking attempt. One wheel was vertical. The other was sticking out like a yokel’s tooth. Your car hasn’t been crashed, he said. It’s just that the fitter didn’t have a clue what he was doing.