We need new words

The late Douglas Adams co-wrote a superb book, The Meaning of Liff, which attempted to find new words to describe universal experiences. In these net-everywhere days, we probably need to update it to describe situations such as these:

* The moment when, one second after sending a superbly bitchy email, you realise you’ve sent it to the person you’re being bitchy about instead of the person you wanted to bitch about them to.

* As above, but when you realise you’ve sent the message to 700 people.

* The combination of horror and morbid curiosity you feel when you’re troubleshooting someone else’s PC and discover their saved porn searches in the browser’s autocomplete.

* The amazing mechanism whereby you take delivery of a shiny new something – gadget, computer, whatever – and the manufacturer immediately doubles the specification and halves the price.

* The pathetic attempts you make to distract the in-laws’ attention during dinner when you realise you haven’t removed “Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthin Ta Fuck Wit” from your iTunes playlist.

Any more?


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