Dear online shops

When you offer – and charge extra for – next day delivery, the customer quite reasonably thinks that means “we will deliver your order the next working day”.

If you take it to mean “we will deliver your order the next working day after we actually get some of the items in stock, which won’t be for at least a week, and we’ll pretend your order’s still being processed in the meantime, and we’ll ignore your emails and refuse to sign on to our snazzy live online help system” your customers will call you names (and cancel their orders).

Love and kisses,

Gary