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Hell in a handcart

Ryanair: we’re shit and we’re about to get worse

Ryanair’s really, really keen to let its passengers use their mobiles during flights.

Ryanair said yesterday that it is close to a deal with a telecoms company that will install kit into its fleet of aircraft to enable passengers to use their mobiles while on board. Though use during takeoff and landing will not be permitted, passengers will be able to make calls or send texts in the air. This autumn, BMI and TAP Air Portugal will trial a similar service.

The move is another Ryanair wheeze to increase the amount of money it makes from its customers. It is also still looking to introduce in-flight internet games and gambling.

Given that flying Ryanair is already pretty unpleasant, and that any time I fly budget I seem to be sharing a plane with thick, loudmouthed drunks, the thought of mobiles adding to the general clamour inside the aeroplane is a superb advert for Ryanair’s more expensive competitors. Would you pay an extra £20, £50, £100 to be spared endless loops of the Nokia Theme and the bellowing of pissheads? I would.