Picnic enemy number one

Scotland’s currently having its Annual Week of Sunshine, so I decided to take advantage of it on Sunday and have a picnic. It was great: we munched nice food, played with the dog, watched the dog take her first swim and cooled down with a bottled beer apiece. This, it seems, means I’m an enemy of the state. The Scottish Executive wants a country-wide ban on all public drinking to fight the problems with marches and parades.

Over to Devil’s Kitchen (this bit is one of the few ones I can quote in my efforts to keep this blog relatively swear-free):

In order to control the actions of a very, very tiny minority, the Scottish Executive are determined that everybody should suffer… Nice, middle-class family want to have a picnic in the sun on the Meadows and have a glass of Pimms? No, sorry, it’s off to the fucking slammer for you, son

Here’s a better idea. If the problem is because of marches and parades, why not ban orange marches? Or, and I bet you can predict this next bit, why not use the laws we already have?

We have laws that deal with public drunkenness. We have laws that deal with being an arse in public. We have laws that deal with violence. If the problem is that we can’t enforce the laws we already have, what possible benefit do we get from adding another one?

It’s hard to disagree with DK when he says to our elected representatives:

I hope that your limbs drop off and your lips are sewn together with coarse string impregnated with salt-water.

Me, I’d rather recycle Bill Hicks’ rant about marketing types. It seems appropriate.

Kill yourselves… No really, there’s no rationalisation for what you do, and you are Satan’s little helpers, OK? Kill yourselves, seriously. You’re the ruiner of all things good.





0 responses to “Picnic enemy number one”

  1. It’s a bit sad that the home of the greatest alcoholic drink in the known universe should be contemplating such a move.

  2. Gary

    To be fair, it’s building on existing Joy Policing: a lot of places, like Glasgow, already have a ban on public drinking. Naturally it only ever seems to be enforced when quiet people have a picnic – dealing with pissed-up neds is far too difficult.

  3. Well that’s the whole bloody problem right there, isn’t it? The idea in the heads of the legislators (to dispense with cynicism for a moment) is that they’ll give powers to the police that the latter will use with discretion against the real problem; whereas in practice the police will use their discretion to give themselves an easy life, and do a few simple ones to prove they’re doing something. “Just doing my job, Sir.” To come back to another of my pet points: it’s like gun control laws. The only people who are actually affected are those who aren’t the problem.

  4. Gary

    I agree entirely.