Now I understand how computer games can cause violence

I would love to meet the developers of the shooting game Black and, well, shoot them. From putting the disc into the Xbox to actually starting play takes the best part of 15 minutes. First, there’s the lengthy, tedious and unskippable opening credits; then, a cliched and unskippable montage of newspaper headlines and video clips to show that, like, there’s bad people and political instability and terrorism and war and stuff; finally, some crappy and unskippable animation that’s designed to show how cool, enigmatic and tough your character is. Just like every other sodding first-person shooter, albeit with a bigger budget.

God almighty, when I buy a first-person shooter I don’t give a flying arse who the project manager is, I could care less about the backstory and I’d rather eat my own legs than watch yet another crappy cutscene. ENOUGH OF THE CINEMATICS I WANT TO SHOOT THINGS GODDAMMIT