Pound shops are pretty depressing sights – they tend to appear in areas where proper shops have long disappeared – but there’s one in Glasgow that’s the exception. Firstly it’s in Sauchiehall Street, one of the main shopping streets in the city; secondly, it kills me.
The shop’s on a corner, which means it has around a dozen full-height windows. Each of these windows has its own slogan, written in yellow letters across a signal red sash. Each slogan is a variation on the theme of “we sell things and charge a pound for them” – and they’re a work of demented genius. Unsullied by punctuation and stern in tone, they start off as perfectly reasonable slogans and deteriorate as the signwriter’s (or shopkeeper’s) fury becomes apparent. They start with:
YES EVERYTHING IS A POUND
And then they get angrier, making it crystal clear that indeed, everything in the shop costs one pound, and they’re pretty pissed off with people questioning such a simple concept. The very best one is the last slogan, which reduces me to giggles every time I see it:
DO NOT ASK THE PRICE IT IS A POUND
I suspect I might be the only person who finds this funny. But I don’t care!