Freeview? Better off with ExpensiveView

Ronnie’s asking about Freeview, and I’ve given him some expert advice: Freeview is teh sux0r!

If you’re not familiar with Freeview, the idea is that it gives you most of the benefits of satellite TV without the cost of Satellite TV. However, in reality what you get is a bunch of rubbish channels with no option to upgrade (unless you want the overpriced and unimpressive Top-Up TV, which requires a more expensive set-top box and a monthly subscription).

Here’s what you get:

BBC1, 2, ITV, Channel 4, Channel 5 – just like a normal TV!
BBC3 – occasional comedy goodness
BBC4 – worthy stuff you’ll never watch
ITV2 – the stuff that isn’t good enough for ITV1
ITV3 – the stuff that isn’t good enough for ITV2
Sky Travel – pffft
UKTV History – worthy stuff you’ll never watch
FTN – no idea, never seems to have anything but ads
ABC1 – doesn’t seem to broadcast in my area
Yooplay – search me!
Men & Motors – programming for pimply masturbators
E4 – big sodding brother
E4+1 – big sodding brother, an hour ago
CBBC – unless you have kids, it’s a dayglo horror show
Cbeebies – see above
The Hits – really lame music channel with nasty, compressed, mono music
TMF – as above, interspersed with the odd VH-1 documentary
A couple of news channels
Teletext – this is a selling point?
UKTV Bright Ideas – occasional programming from the other, better UKTV channels that only seems to broadcast when you’re not home.
Ideal world – shopping channel
QVC – shopping channel
Bid TV – shopping channel
Price-drop TV – shopping channel
Teachers’ TV – tv programming for teachers. Like a less interesting open university.

If you want access to digital radio stations, by all means get Freeview. But if you want decent telly programming, stick to cable or satellite.

Anyone want to buy a Freeview box? Philips dual-scart model, used twice…