Bigmouth Strikes Again: Carrie Marshall's blog

Carrie’s books | Carrie’s band

Author: Carrie

  • An indieview with yours truly

    The most excellent Simon Royle publishes what he calls indieviews, interviews with indie authors. And today it’s my turn to talk bollocks.

    I’ve lost track of the number of times a supposedly smart, glass ceiling-shattering female character suddenly becomes a simpering idiot thanks to Captain Exposition. This kind of thing:

    Him: We need a laser.

    Her: A laser?

    Him: Yes, a laser. It stands for light amplification by the stimulated emission of radiation, and it was first suggested by Einstein in 1917. In 1958, Charles Townes and Arthur Schawlow theorized and published papers about a visible laser, an invention that would use infrared and/or visible spectrum light, however, they did not proceed with any research at the time. Today, however, lasers are everywhere, used in a variety of industrial and military applications. You’ll even find them inside home entertainment equipment such as DVD players.

    Her: You are so clever! Let’s have sex!

  • The next iPhone needn’t be fancy

    Me, at Techradar:

    It’s Apple’s new iPhone event tomorrow, and we know what that means: most of the internet is publishing “ten things Apple will announce tomorrow” articles, most of them split into eleventy-nine pages to rip off advertisers.

  • “Imagine Coffin Dodgers unfolding as a movie”

    Yes, imagine! And then make it, and give me cash!

    Chris at Adarna SF has posted a thoughtful review of Coffin Dodgers, for which I’m very grateful. I think the criticisms are spot-on too.

    Despite these hiccups, I really commend Gary Marshall for coming up with a well-written (and well-edited) debut mystery. There are moments in the book that subtly move into the realm of social commentary without having to try so hard. Irreverent tone notwithstanding, it feels much more polished than the usual indie e-books that I’ve come across — definitely worth an afternoon read.

  • Amazon’s Kindle Fire is going to burn Android

    Me, on Techradar:

    In times of great excitement, I like to paraphrase Noddy Holder – and today is one of those times. Ready?

    So here it is, Merry Christmas

    Everybody’s Having Fun

    Apart from all the Android firms

    Who are probably chucking themselves off bridges right now

  • You have to admire Amazon’s attention to detail

    I received an email from Amazon this morning: during a quality check they’ve spotted a major, show-stopping problem with the Kindle edition of Coffin Dodgers, and I must fix it as soon as possible.

    The problem?

    A single typo.

  • “Self-doubt convinces us that our own failure is inevitable, an unavoidable recourse based on our own screaming lack of talent.”

    Chuck Wendig wrote this post for writers, but I think it’s relevant to any kind of creative activity:

    Suddenly Old Mister Doubt is jabbering in your ear.

    You’re not good enough.

    You’ll never make it, you know.

    Everyone’s disappointed in you.

    Where are your pants? Normal people wear pants.

    …self-doubt is the enemy of the writer. It is one of many: laziness, fear, ego, porn, Doritos. But it is most certainly one of the worst, if not the worst, in the writer’s rogue gallery of nemeses.

  • “Not just the funniest group in the world, but something serious and valuable, too”

    A lovely piece by Taylor Parkes on the genius of Half Man Half Biscuit:

    Even now, there’s still this perception of Half Man Half Biscuit as a comedy band: a post-punk Grumbleweeds, the indie Stilgoe. No group in history can have been so woefully misunderstood – Half Man Half Biscuit are, in fact, an antidote to wackiness, a bulwark against zaniness. Fiercely principled, highly literate, sometimes very close to angry, these are songs of open defiance; their real targets, more often than not, are stupidity as a leisure option, the hollowing-out of British culture, the slow death of the post-war settlement.

    This bit cracked me up:

    ‘Excavating Rita’ is – despite its wince-inducing title – a beautifully complex song about a grief-crazed Betterware salesman whose devotion extends to necrophilia. Poignant, tragic, grimly explicit, sympathetic and horribly funny, it’s hard to imagine anyone else attempting a song like this

    [Via TonyK]

  • Sex, violence and swearing in crime fiction

    I was at a book reading by Christopher Brookmyre and Mark Billingham a few weeks ago, and Billingham described some of the angry letters he gets from readers outraged that he uses the odd swear word – but not, it seems, outraged by some of the absolutely appalling things his villains do. It seems to be quite common in crime fiction: just last night, Allan Guthrie got a one-star review from somebody so outraged by the (minor) swearing in one of his books that they couldn’t continue.

    I’ve said elsewhere that writers should consider whether swearing is necessary if it isn’t relevant or appropriate – if Mr Guthrie wrote gentle Victorian-era whodunnits and used language such as “it was Professor fucking Plum, with a fucking lead pipe, in the fucking study, the fucking sneaky fucking fucker” then that might be considered somewhat gratuitous – but he writes contemporary crime fiction and police procedurals.

    You may not be aware of this, but policemen and women sometimes swear. Criminals too.

    Ray Banks, aka The Saturday Boy, has an opinion about all of this.

    Swearing is a vital part of human life, regardless of culture, and to indulge in vicarious murder as entertainment whilst eschewing the saltier language is nothing short of hypocrisy.

    I read a lot of crime fiction, and I’ve lost track of the various horrible things crime writers describe – and by crime writers I mean mainstream, your-mum-reads-them crime writers, many of whom revel in detailed descriptions of the most terrible acts. If you can stomach that but not the word “fuck” then there’s something seriously fucking wrong with you.

  • No more adventures in hi-fi

    I love REM, and while I’m not surprised they’ve split up – that’s been on the cards for a decade, maybe more – it’s still a wee bit sad. Unless there’s a reunion tour somewhere down the line I won’t get to see them live again, and there won’t be any more records as weird and wonderful as New Adventures In Hi-Fi. It, like most REM albums, was hit and miss, but when REM got it right they were astonishing.

  • The A to Z of ebook publishing

    I thought it might be an idea to do a huge ebook-advice post based on the various discussions we’ve had here and on other sites, so that’s what I’ve done: an enormous A to Z of ebook publishing aimed at would-be ebook publishers. If there’s anything I’ve missed or got hopelessly wrong, I’m sure you’ll let me know in the comments.

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