This cracked me up. By Jen Campbell, via MetaFilter:
Customer: Hi, if I buy a book, read it, and bring it back, could I exchange it for another book?
Me: No… because then we wouldn’t make any money.
Customer: Oh.
Weird things customers say in bookshops
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One of my favourite exchanges with a customer, who wants to pay my American Express, which we couldn’t accept.
Woman: You simply wouldn’t get this in John Lewis.
Me: I’m afraid we aren’t John Lewis.
Woman: I don’t like your tone.
Me: We’re still not John Lewis.
Woman: I’m going to contact trading standards.
Me: They’ll say we’re not John Lewis as well.
Woman: Get me the manager, I’ll have you disciplined.
Me: I am the manager, and we’re still not John Lewis. Do you have another card?
I loved “I read a book in the eighties. I don’t remember the author, or the title. But it was green, and it made me laugh. Do you know which one I mean?”
> Me: They’ll say we’re not John Lewis as well.
*applauds*
Posts like that are little bundles of joy.