“I’m only transitioning so I can cheat at girls’ sports”

This, in McSweeney’s, is perfect.

It’s crazy. I started crying yesterday when I looked in the mirror. I mean full-on sobbing. It’s hard to express. I finally look… I look like me. By which I mean that I look like a boy who’s 100% just transitioning to unfairly be good at sports in the wrong gender.