Giant mutant bats from the planet Thargle, which I’ve just invented, mean that Apple is dooooomed!

Apple’s Phil Schiller slags off Samsung, so of course Apple is doomed. Me at Techradar:

You see exactly the same in music (“Our album’s going to be so much better than theirs“), and in boxing (“I am really good at punching people, and he isn’t”), and in supermarkets (“We’re cheaper than them, and our food isn’t made of horse!”).