It was a dark and stormy night

This year’s Bulwer-Lytton contest winners have been announced. This one is my favourite:

As the dark and mysterious stranger approached, Angela bit her lip anxiously, hoping with every nerve, cell, and fiber of her being that this would be the one man who would understand—who would take her away from all this—and who would not just squeeze her boob and make a loud honking noise, as all the others had.