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How to fix the UK economy: tax Apple fans

You know it makes sense.

The public coffers are empty, and that means we need to make sacrifices. The school leaving age will be reduced to six. Hospitals will no longer treat you unless you’re spurting blood or other fluids. Benefits will be slashed, the unemployed will be forced to eat one another and Wales will be sold to the highest bidder.

So does Britain look like an outtake from The Road, with people chewing on babies and mugging one another for half-chewed Mars bars? Nope. We’re all queuing outside Apple stores, and Vodafone stores, and Orange stores, and Carphone Warehouses.