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Media Technology

Apple must never make a Tablet

Me, at Techradar:

Here’s how it works right now. Firm A makes an ebook reader and it’s the best ebook reader ever made – but the reviewers and the pundits and the potential purchasers all make frowny faces and say “That’s all very well, firm A, but just you wait until the Apple tablet huffs and puffs and blows your house down!”

Firm B makes an extraordinary HD netbook, and everybody says “Wow, that’s fantastic! But the Apple Tablet will deliver better battery life and also cut off your tails with a carving knife!”

Firm C makes a super-smart multimedia tablet that delivers astonishing sound quality, makes your penis bigger and cures cancer. “That’s great!” the world says. “But the Apple Tablet will bring your ancestors back from the dead, and grind your bones to make Steve Jobs’s bread!”