Biffo on broadcasting

I think I’m a reasonably good writer, and as an occasional mouthpiece on the radio I’m ok at that too. But my two telly experiences have been unmitigated disasters – have you seen Broadcast News? The sweaty bloke? Multiply it by ten and you’ve got me – and when I’m without a script, I’m lost.

The ever reliable Mr Biffo, a man whose writing is ten thousand times funnier than mine, nails it:

When I was writing about videogames for a living I frequently got dragged into TV or radio studios to say something loosely interesting on the topic of games, but I’m sure I always disappointed. I think my Digitiser persona led people to believe that I had a form of Tourette’s, where I spent my life shouting “Moc-moc-a-moc”, and going off on surreal tangents about Mr T’s bins. In reality, when I have a microphone shoved under my nose I’m just a bit dull, mainly because I’m trying very hard not to swear.

…there is a gulf of difference between being able to write to a reasonable degree, and being able to stand in front of a camera and not look like you’re going to be sick.

That, incidentally, is why I blog rather than podcast: I’ve got a reasonably good voice and I’m reasonably good at the delivery, but I wouldn’t be able to do it off the cuff – I’d have to script it. And if I’m going to script it, why not just publish the script and be done with it, instead of reading it out and trying not to swear?