Archive for January, 2008
Attention seekers get attention, whinge
Hmmm.
Given that she describes herself as a human pet – and is happy to walk around on a lead – Tasha Maltby is used to odd looks and even odder remarks.
But nothing had prepared her for the reaction of the bus driver who allegedly told the self-styled Goth and her boyfriend: “We don’t let freaks and dogs like you on.”
Miss Maltby and her fiance Dani Graves were so angered they have complained to the bus company of being “victimised”.
Hmmm.
“It is definitely discrimination, almost like a hate crime.”
No it isn’t. A bus driver being a tit, perhaps, but it isn’t a hate crime.
Bono to “put some funk” into a Dell
Dell and Microsoft are teaming up to release a Product Red computer, donating up to $80 for every PC sold to fund AIDS-fighting drugs in Africa…
The PCs, designed in part by Bono, will have a distinctive red casing and the Windows interface will feature a red background and sidebar. “My job is to put some poetry in the machine, put some funk in the machines,” Bono claims.
Xbox is “crack for kids”, says woman
A nice, reasoned piece in The Times by Janice Turner:
I refuse to buy them portable gaming consoles, Xboxes, GameCubes, PS2s. These are Satan’s Sudoku, crack cocaine of the brain. Even the crappiest cartoon or lamest soap teaches a child about character, plot, drama, humour, life. Playing videogames, children are mentally imprisoned, wired into their evil creators’ brains.
Consoles are crack for kids? I suspect that increasingly, the crack for kids is, er, crack.
From The Independent:
Drug agencies in the city [Cambridge] report a marked increase in clients using crack cocaine in the past 18 months, mostly men in their 20s and 30s. Younger people are also getting hooked. Cambridgeshire Youth Offending Service is treating a girl aged 13 who is taking crack more than once a week.
Boozy bosses
Chief executives of big companies and public sector organisations are coping with their stressful positions by drinking the equivalent of almost three bottles of wine a week, new research shows.
Three bottles a week? Lightweights!
There are quite a few stories like this one turning up in the papers, and you tend to see the same thing again and again. For example, in this Independent story it says:
Four in 10 men and a third of women exceeded the daily limits at least once a week.
This happens a lot: “recommended maximum” becomes “daily limit”. And those maximum figures are made up, because the committee charged with setting the recommendations simply plucked the numbers out of the air. But those “limits” make things sound pretty scary:
Men holding the highest positions drink an average of almost 23 units a week – more than 11 medium (175ml) glasses of wine.
According to the government’s Know Your Limits website, a pint of Kronenbourg contains 3 units and a bottle of 14% wine - which is pretty typical for half-decent supermarket reds - contains 10.5 units. So let’s reword, shall we?
Men holding the highest positions drink an average of almost 23 units per week - more than one bottle of red wine and four pints of lager. A week! Everybody panic!
I don’t mean to make light of alcohol abuse, alcoholism, cirrhosis or the various other lovely downsides to boozing, but really, with all the real booze-related problems we need to worry about (eg getting your face kicked off in a city centre), who gives a shit if bosses have a bottle of wine and a couple of pints per week? Given the current state of the economy it’s a miracle they aren’t knocking back a bottle of brandy before breakfast.
Singalong with baby CDs are evil
One of the things you have to accept about parenthood is that for several years, you’ll be listening to a lot of bloody awful music. Or perhaps not, because it seems that Baby Bigmouth has decent taste.
We’ve got a CD, which is called something along the lines of “Songs to sing with your baby”. The subtitle is “in a homely style”, which should set off alarm bells in the head of any right-thinking parent because after all, “homely” is a euphemism for “shite”. But, hey! It’s the classics! Baa Baa Black Sheep! Frere Jacques! What could possibly go wrong?
Er, this: within seconds of Baa Baa Black Sheep starting, Baby Bigmouth gives us an expression we’ve never seen before. Misery. Our cheery wee soul’s face crinkles up in dismay, the mouth turns down, and real tears begin before we can get to the CD player and turn it off. And no bloody wonder, because whoever’s doing the singing makes Joy Division sound positively joyous by comparison. Maybe the CD is part of a rehabilitation project for the suicidal. Or perhaps not, because I reckon the suicidal would be a damn sight cheerier.
Fair enough, I know that most nursery rhymes make Saw IV seem positively tame, but Baa Baa Black Sheep? How bloody depressed do you need to be to find the secret seam of despair in a song where someone asks a sheep if it’s got any wool and the sheep says “Have I got wool? I’ve got tons of the bloody stuff! I’m a sheep!”
I may be paraphrasing somewhat.
It’s not all bad, though. Turns out BB likes appalling renditions of Wipeout played on dusty guitars by her rusty-fingered dad, is rather partial to the odd bit of blues and likes nothing better than a bounce about to Beyonce with her mum. I’ll have her making rock shapes to Faith No More before the week is out.
Excellent website needs excellent writer/editor
BestTreatments, the site that provides accurate information on what health stuff works and what doesn’t, is looking for an editor. It’s a permanent position based in central London.
You will write, edit and help to commission material, taking responsibility for sign-off through to publication and liaising with key contacts including clinical experts, colleagues and freelancers. We’re looking for someone with strong editorial and writing skills, who understands medical research and who will have the flair to explain complex studies in simple language to a lay audience. It’s likely that you have had several years of solid experience working as a medical journalist or editor or a writer in health communications. A degree in medicine, life sciences, public health or pharmacy would be an advantage. You’ll be self-motivated, have excellent communication skills and be able to work both autonomously and in a team.
Spam slogans that probably won’t take off
From a Viagra spam email: “To protrude and serve!”
Mac users “less modest, and more assured of their own superiority”
One for the Mac haters: Mac users are more open minded and liberal than the rest of the population, but they’re less modest and have a bit of a superiority complex. So says Mindset Media, via The Inquirer.
It’s official: clowns are scary
Clowns are too scary for kids in hospital and are not the best decoration for children’s wards, according to new research.
A survey found that decorating wards with images of clowns was more likely to frighten young patients than cheer them up.
I’m only posting this so I can quote Jack Handey.
To me, clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kind of scary. I’ve wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
ISPs versus the BPI. This could prove interesting
ISPA, the UK trade association for ISPs, has nominated the British Phonographic Industry for its Villain of the Year award. The nomination is “For its heavy handed approach against consumers rather than engaging in constructive dialogue with the Internet industry when dealing with filesharing.” David Cameron gets a nomination too, “For buddying up with the music industry and trying to appeal to a younger audience.”
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Mind you, it’s possible that the ISPA has gone nuts. Suggesting Facebook gets a hero award for withdrawing its invasive ad system, Beacon, certainly suggests so.