Archive for December, 2006
Plane makes emergency landing due to… flatulence
An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said.
The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches
Glasgow logic
Glasgow does things differently to other cities: for example, when it was agreed that Glasgow really needed a bypass to relieve the ever-growing traffic problem, they built it right through the middle of the city. The same inspired approach to transport can be seen in Glasgow’s underground railway system, which shuts before the pubs do on weeknights and closes at 6pm on Sundays. I’m not kidding.
I’m not entirely sure why the subway can’t open longer - is it skinflint management? Stroppy workers? Both? - but it’s part of the reason why the city centre is so scary at night: on average 70,000 people descend on Glasgow city centre at weekends, and there’s sod-all public transport to take them home again. As you’d expect, it’s even worse during the festive season. So here’s what Glasgow’s come up with:
GLASGOW - Hey, subway drivers! Can you work later over the festive season?
SUBWAY DRIVERS - Piss off.
GLASGOW - Hey, subway management! Can you do anything to solve this?
SUBWAY MANAGEMENT - Yes!
GLASGOW - What?
SUBWAY MANAGEMENT - We’ll run buses!
GLASGOW - Eh?
SUBWAY MANAGEMENT - Yes! Buses, which will run to all the subway stations! Which will be closed!
GLASGOW - Er, okay. I suppose it’s better than nothing. We’re going to be really busy this Christmas.
SUBWAY MANAGEMENT - Yes! It’s the best solution!
GLASGOW - So when will the festive service start?
SUBWAY MANAGEMENT - March!
GLASGOW - What?
SUBWAY MANAGEMENT - Yes! March! Maybe!
Things I don’t understand, part 2031
From a press release about networking kit:
Specifically developed to deliver a high level of performance
Does that mean the other stuff is specifically developed so it *doesn’t* deliver a high level of performance?
Mobile phone study proves that phone radiation eats your brain
Only joking: still no evidence of any harmful effects. The study looked at 400,000 people, many of whom have been using mobiles since 1984, and it included both analogue and digital handsets. As The Register notes:
the study found that long-term mobile phone users had a slightly lower incidence of cancer than the general population, though this can be attributed to being from the upper-income demographic, still one of the most important factors in illness and life expectancy.
The report’s conclusion:
We found no evidence for an association between tumor risk and cellular telephone use among either short-term or long-term users. Moreover, the narrow confidence intervals provide evidence that any large association of risk of cancer and cellular telephone use can be excluded.
What the world needs right now is yet another closed music system
That’s what Sony seems to think, anyway. From Wired:
Next holiday season could see a new approach from Sony in the MP3 player space — one that could resemble Apple’s iTunes/iPod combo or Microsoft’s similarly-unified Zune approach
*bangs head off desk*
Big Brother is reading your blog
Blimey. Via Guido, the Home Office says:
We have 12 librarians that monitor blogs on a daily seven day week basis.
Presumably that’s 12 well-paid librarians… nice work if you can get it, eh?
An open letter to Girls Aloud’s management company
Dear Girls Aloud’s management company,
Have you spotted the difference between the Girls’ original material and their cover versions?
Yes!
The cover versions are all shite!
Stop it!
Love and kisses
Gary
Before you tell the boss to shove his job up his arse, make sure you’ve really won the lottery
Heh heh heh. Another story via Fark:
JUBILANT car salesman Steve Moseley went berserk and told his boss to stick his job — after MISREADING a £1million scratchcard.Ecstatic Steve, 36, DANCED on his desk, THREW all the money in his wallet at colleagues and sent a junior out for CHAMPAGNE thinking he had won a fortune.
He then phoned his girlfriend to tell her he had quit and was rushing off to buy an Aston Martin.
You can guess the rest…
1 million miles: good news for Saab, bad news for deer
A US man has clocked up 1 million miles in his trusty Saab 900, which survived eight separate collisions with deer. It’s not clear how the deer fared.
[Via Fark]
£251 a year? Lightweights
According to pet charity Blue Cross, Scots spend an average of £251 per year on their pets. Bloody lightweights: Megan’s vet bills alone were £496 last month, and because she’d outgrown the Clio we had to buy a car. A CAR!