Author Archive
Roberts: the Rolls-Royce of radio
I’ve been meaning to get a digital radio for ages, and I’ve finally bit the bullet and bought a bottom-of-the-range Roberts radio. Mind you, what’s bottom of the range for Roberts is still streets ahead of other firms’ best products, and despite the lack of features such as tone controls and other goodies, it’s a cracking bit of kit. Most importantly of all, it sounds superb. Or at least, it does if you don’t listen to horrifically compressed stations such as some of the pop channels, whose techies clearly don’t have ears.
NYPD woo!
If you’re a sad NYPD Blue obsessive like me, there’s lots of good news: Season 3 is out on DVD right now, season 4’s due (according to Amazon) at the end of June, and Channel 4 is finally airing the final three seasons. According to Digital Spy:
Channel 4 will air the final three seasons of cult police drama NYPD Blue on More4, according to a report in Broadcast.
The news finally puts closure on long-running speculation over when - or even if - the broadcaster was intending to schedule the episodes, which have yet to be screened in the UK.
“NYPD Blue has a loyal audience and we feel More4 is the perfect new home for the remaining series,” a C4 spokeswoman told the magazine.
Season ten will begin on Monday, May 8, with new episodes airing three times a week thereafter. At that rate the final season will begin mid-July.
Top tips
Delivery drivers! When delivering a priority package to a residential address during normal working hours, TRY RINGING THE BLOODY DOORBELL. This may save you having to write “you’re not in, nah nah nah” on a bit of cardboard and returning to the same address with the same package at the same time tomorrow.
Cross Graznei Bridge? I am sick and tired of crossing Graznei Sodding Bridge
Yeah, I’m moaning again about Black, the first person shooter that’s clearly been designed by sadists.
I’m on the level where my primary objective is to cross Graznei Bridge, which to date I think I’ve successfully done about three and a half billion sodding times. But when I finally get across the bridge, something happens. The phone rings, or the dog barks, or I remember I need to put the spuds on. And in the millisecond during which I’m distracted, I get shot and have to do three-quarters of the bloody level all over again.
It isn’t always because of distractions, though. A few times I’ve spent a cheery half-hour blowing things up and then I have to go out. When I next play the game it’s right back to the beginning of the level again (and the unskippable bloody cutscene).
I don’t mind redoing a level a few times, but when the number reaches the hundreds - which it definitely has in this case - it sucks all the fun out of a game. And the last time I checked, games were supposed to be fun, not endurance tests for masochists.
I’ve seen reviews of Black that suggest the lack of save points is one of the game’s key strengths, to which I can’t reply without swearing. Sure, if you’re the sort of person who buys a game, sits down to play it in an isolation chamber and doesn’t move again until the game is finished, then the lack of save points might make the game an interesting challenge. But for those of us who live in the real world and whose gaming adventures are crammed into the odd half-hour here and there, it turns your shiny new game purchase into an infuriating and irritating waste of money. Despite Black’s real strengths - it’s big dumb fun with superb graphics - it’s annoyed me enough that no matter how good the reviews, I won’t buy Black 2.
There was a nice column in this month’s EDGE magazine, which suggested that games should offer a “maximum fun, minimum faff” mode for casual gamers - people who, like me, have very limited amounts of time available for gaming. I think that’s a superb idea. I wish Black’s developers had thought of it.
[Slightly edited to fix spelling errors]
The Onion on MySpace’s current woes
When The Onion’s good, it’s very good (click for bigger):
[Via Publishing 2.0]
Web 2.0: exploitation 2.0?
There’s an interesting post at Publishing 2.0 about the business models surrounding Web 2.0 and in particular, the hype over user-generated content.
This reminds me of a comment that another of my favorite cynics, Seth Finklestein, deposited on my post about “user-generated content”:
For “User-generated content”, I’m partial to the term “Unpaid freelancers”. The latter seems to capture what many people really mean when they say the former.
Sleep demolition
My wife was rudely awoken at 4am this morning as, stark bollock naked, I wrenched a very large and very heavy mirror from the wall. She asked what I was doing and I apparently answered, in a very pissed-off manner, “I’m taking this off the wall”. Mirror removed and two large holes in the plasterwork later, I announced with some satisfaction, “I’ve taken it off the wall”. At which point I went back to bed.
I’ve no recollection of this, because I was fast asleep at the time.
It seems I’m an occasional sleepwalker, so for example a few months back my wife woke up to find me stomping around the bedroom in a state of extreme irritation because I couldn’t find the secret stairway that led to the garden (a stairway which, of course, doesn’t exist). I’ve no idea why I wanted to go to the garden, or why I needed to do it naked in the wee small hours.
Still, it could be worse. A few years ago a friend told me about her husband’s nocturnal adventures, and recounted one particularly memorable incident where he sleepwalked into the living room, pressed eject on the CD player, urinated into the CD player, closed the tray and wandered back to bed.
Mike Giggler, via email
Mike Giggler is Private Eye’s fictitious letter writer, who upholds the great British tradition* of writing funny letters to newspapers. He would approve of this gem from Mark Bartlett, who wrote to today’s Guardian about a protective case for transporting bananas:
I hope the genius behind the Banana Guard (April 8) is feverishly at work inventing other fruit protection products, as I for one find it extremely distressing when my plums get squashed.
I laughed like a drain at that one.
* I’m assuming it’s a British tradition, but as I only read UK newspapers I may well be unaware of a global comedy phenomenon. Can anyone enlighten me? Is there a German Mike Giggler?
Quiet iPod? Blame Apple
The latest iPod firmware update introduces a volume limiter which, as far as I can tell, you can’t disable from the menus or from iTunes. It’s to protect your hearing, but after 15-odd years of playing in a rock band my ears are knackered anyway and a capped iPod is far too quiet (especially if you’re listening to “nice” music, or prefer it when heavy metal makes your ears bleed).
Incidentally, this kind of stuff - “upgrades” that take away functionality - really bugs me. But I’ve ranted about that before, so I won’t rant about it again now.
Aaaaanyway. If you want to disable the cap, GoPod does it with a single click.
Mr Biffo on self-employment
I love Mr Biffo, in a heterosexual manly way of course. Today he’s writing about homeworking:
When you tell people you work from home, the first thing they usually ask is: “Don’t you find it difficult to get motivated?”
Well, yes. But that’s a given in any job. I’m no more distracted working from home than I’ve been whatever I’ve done. I used to spend my working days at Teletext throwing food across the office, and the few times I went into work at Wembley Stadium it was only to put my own face on the scoreboard, and take photos of it.
Thing is, I’m self-employed. If I don’t work I don’t get paid, and if I don’t get paid I can’t buy beer and comics, and that’s probably the biggest motivator you can get. Short of a large man in a leather harness, standing over you brandishing a threatening wooden paddle, that is.