Cutting edge journalism

One of the problems of being a writer is that occasionally, you end up between deadlines with no work to do. Today’s one of those days, so I thought I’d be productive and review the very latest cutting-edge technology: the new M3 Power Razor! Instead of adding yet another blade to its products – sooner or later men’s razors will have so many blades that you won’t be able to lift the damn things – Gillette has been more subtle: the M3 Power is just like an ordinary Mach 3, but it also vibrates, delivering micro-pulses or some such guff.

First things first: grow some alarmingly ginger-looking stubble!

That’s more than enough to assess the M3 Power: with that amount of stubble, a standard Mach 3 turns my face into something that resembles an explosion in an abbatoir.

The next step was to get soaped up and start shaving, but there’s a problem: the M3 Power is packaged in some form of alien plastic that’s completely impervious to the meaty, RSI-addled hands of computer journalists. After ten minutes I was knackered, the razor remained out of reach and the packaging looked like this:

Luckily I’m a practical man, with access to power tools. However, when I finally freed the razor I accidentally knocked the power button and it vibrated its way across the room. So much for subtle “micro vibrations” or whatever nonsense the packaging claims. I’ll admit, I was getting a bit worried.

The above picture shows the M3 Power in all its glory. It’s like a small, vicious Xbox.

The shot below is the M3 Power in action. I know the picture is blurry, but you try taking a shot when you’ve got shaky hands to start with and you’re holding a vibrating blade against your face.

The vibration is rather alarming – it’s like the sort of products people buy in backstreet shops in Amsterdam – and the result is a strange sensation where you’re not entirely sure whether you’re vaguely near your face or not. It’s particularly unnerving around trouble spots such as your lips and your neck – it’s hard to tell whether you’re applying too much pressure or not, and I had visions of ending up like this:

But despite the fear, the result was pretty good: much closer and quicker than a normal Mach 3, with less razor burn.

The verdict, then? I was surprised that the vibration isn’t a gimmick (although I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before someone decides to use an M3 Power in an – ahem – unusual way, and ends up in casualty). However, it’s bloody expensive – £11 for the razor and two blades – and at the time of writing, I’ve no idea how pricey replacement blades are. If current Mach 3 pricing is any indication, an eight-pack of Power blades will set you back a million jillion pounds.

Tune in next week when I hit writer’s block and decide to compare different brands of kitchen towels!

Update, 1 Sept: edited to fix a few ugly sentences and to replace “Mach 3 Power” with the proper name, “M3 Power”.