Odds and sods
Once again I’m buried under deadline mountain, so here’s some odds and sods that don’t justify full posts in their own right:
- Jeremy Clarkson’s “cocks” theory - that is, the cocks who used to buy BMWs and drive like arseholes have generally moved to Audis - seems to be true. SG08 LRA in his spanking new A4 3.0 TDI damn near killed the Bigmouth Family at the weekend.
- Still on the Top Gear tip, the TG magazine editor’s letter this month talks about how, when it comes to driving, Britain is a nation of utter bastards - red light jumping, tailgating, box junction blocking, if-I-pretend-I-don’t-see-you-it’s-okay bastards. He’s not wrong.
- A forthcoming issue of Esquire will apparently use e-ink to make its cover flash for 90 days. We must keep this technology away from Zoo, Nuts and the celeb titles.
- The new Batman movie is showing at IMAX cinemas - which could be cool, because parts of it were actually shot in IMAX. In Glasgow, it’s on at the Glasgow Science Centre from Thursday, I think.
- Dragon’s Den. Is the cameraman drunk? Is it possible for Peter Jones to be any less likeable? Is it really necessary to put down people in the way Theo Whassisface put down the ASDA worker with big ideas? Is Hamfatter the worst band name of all time, or what?
- Builders. For fuck’s sake, it’s bad enough that you’re pissing off the neighbours by building a giant castle on the back of your house, but do the builders really need to start at 7.30am and work Sunday mornings too?
- Sick spam. We’ve had weird spam, aggressive spam and now, sick spam - today’s crop includes “Baby Torn From Mother’s Womb”. I know the spammers are just lifting and/or embellishing news stories, but do they *really* think that’s going to make people think “yeah! Gotta get me some V1AGRA!”?
- When you find yourself providing tech support on an electric whisk, and being glad of the work, does it suggest that your career isn’t quite as starry as you might have hoped? Don’t answer that one.
Agree? Disagree? Then by all means leave a comment, although please note that spammers will be shot. If you subscribe to the feed you can get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
Comments
Hamfatter??? How the fuck did they get Arts Council Funding?? I bet those posh little middleclass wankers didn’t even need it.
Hope they sink to the bottom of the Rock Sea.
Good to see that none of the money was spent on their website though. I’ve seen local bands on geocities with better sites.
Yeah, that sick spam is bizarre - last week it was Angelina Jolie Suffers Miscarriage. Do these people not understand the laws of karma? Still, nothing on the v!agra spam with the subject of “beat her womb with your massive stick!” ouch.
Best band name of all time - Sorry About Your Daughter.
Makes me think of the Hattyfatteners out of Moominland.
To be fair to the, they’re more deserving of money out of Dragon’s Den than the bloody narrator. He must have the most pointless job of all time.
Peter Jones: I’m not sure about your business model.
Narrator: Peter’s not sure about their business model.
> Jeremy Clarkson’s “cocks” theory - that is, the cocks who used to buy BMWs and drive like arseholes have generally moved to Audis - seems to be true.
Oh, God, yeah. But there’s been a lot of overlap: we seem to be going through a long period of arseholes buying both BMWs and Audis. But there do seem to be more and more non-wanking BMW drivers on the road, yes, while all Audi drivers are bastard scum.
Anyone remember that Audi ad from the 80s, with the utter, utter wanker driving an Audi, and just when you’re thinking the ad agency have really miscalculated this one, it turns out he was only test driving it, and he says “Not my sort of car.”? They should show that now, only without the twist at the end.
> when it comes to driving, Britain is a nation of utter bastards - red light jumping, tailgating, box junction blocking, if-I-pretend-I-don’t-see-you-it’s-okay bastards. He’s not wrong.
No, he’s dead right. Yet I believe we have quite a good road-safety record when compared to other countries, which means they must be even worse. Certainly the Germans are the worst at tailgating — they drive 2 metres behind you at 120mph — and the Italians are simply insane, except (I am informed by those who’ve been there) when compared to Middle-Eastern drivers. I think we are a nation of utter bastards, and so’s every other nation. Maybe we’re a species of utter bastards.
Heather:
“nothing on the v!agra spam with the subject of “beat her womb with your massive stick!” ouch.”
Yikes!
S2:
“They should show that now, only without the twist at the end.”
Hahah, that’s perfect. It’s a real shame, because they (and beemers) are brilliant cars, and I used to think that if I had the cash I’d buy one. Not so sure now.
Maybe it’s time to rewrite the Big List of What Your Car Says About You to reflect the changing demographics. And to hurl abuse at Prius owners.
“Maybe we’re a species of utter bastards.”
I don’t think the “maybe” was necessary.
> Is it possible for Peter Jones to be any less likeable?
Made me smile.
F*cking hell, though - *Hamfatter*?