We were at a wedding on Saturday, and Mrs Bigmouth was talking to a friend who’s had children. Mrs B mentioned that I was quite superbly pissed (in my defence I was knackered, hadn’t had much sleep the night before and was suffering from a bad case of the Magic Refilling Champagne Flute, the Magic Refilling Wine Glass and the Magic Refilling Pint of Kronenbourg) and her friend said, “it was the same with my husband too! I think it’s the whole approaching responsibility thing, there’s all this responsibility looming so they get more drunk than usual.”

Mrs Bigmouth looked over at me. “No,” she said to her friend. “He’s just a pisshead.” I think she said it affectionately.

On that note, some sage advice for anyone whose partner has stopped drinking and who is therefore vividly aware of how pissed you’re getting: make sure that while he or she has the car keys, you have the house keys. That way you can be sure you’ll still get a lift home. Unless your partner’s a pickpocket, of course.