Be careful where you put your penis
Good advice at the best of times, I think, but particularly relevant in the case of this poor chap’s poor chap: according to the Daily Record, Robert McLenahan’s “romp” with his wife ended in tears when he misjudged his aim and broke his penis. Apparently “everyone knows about it”, and if they didn’t before then thanks to the newspapers they do now.
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And the A&E doctor, faced with a patient who needed surgery, told him to go home and put an ice-pack on it. Envy of the World, etc.
To be honest I only found it funny later on: when I first read it I thought it was pretty sad, partly because someone’s gone running to the papers and partly because of the docs’ attitude you’ve already nailed. I mean god, how scary would it be to go through that?

Yes, it is funny, but still…
Giggling? Good to see NHS Direct is staffed with proper professionals.