Heh.

http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,1895,2090785,00.asp

&

>>Also, it’s interesting that you are uncomfortable talking about sex, yet clearly feel that you ought to be comfortable, and ought to think that casual sex is fine.

Well, I don’t want to drag that point on against everyones wishes, but the thing about that statement is, actually there are three issues in it.

1. being comfortable talking about sex in general.
2. knowing when to stop talking about something because you’ve just stepped into embarrassing territory.
3. Thinking casual sex is ok.

So in reverse order –
3. As stephen says is a personal judgement – he reaches one conculsion, david reahces another, I porbably have a similar view to david, but with a subltlly different take on it. We can argue till we’re green and we’ll never get clsoe to agreeing.

2 – is a difficult call for all of us especially since when to stop probably varies with whoever you’re talking to. However what we’re all really against is those pople who either:

a. have made a judgement that ‘sharing everything is for the better’. I hate that because that’s patently not true and it’s fundamentally dishonest – no one really shares *everything* – even if they try too.

or

b. have a complete lack of self awareness about how they look in a given situation. These people don’t stop because they don’t realise how embarrassing it is – after all if you don’t notice your own embarrassment how will you notice anyone elses? These people are basically your typical really, really, bad pop idol contestant, but they just never realised how “good” they are at singing and dancing.

or

c. the killer – both a and b. Make you’re excuses and leave, it’s all that you can do…

or

d. well, you do just get the odd arsewhole who really believes they have a massive knob and wants to share it with the world.

1. Is the key one isn’t it? And I’m not sure I can really say anything more that what other people have said but I’m fairly certain that having got to now being really quite repressed about sex, I’d have preferred to be less embarrassed. But I really don’t know if things would have turned out any better overall.

>most tech buyers are grown-ups,

the average age of a computer game buyer in the UK was 27 two years ago, and rises with each year that Gary, David, me, and our mate Steven put on the clock, since we seem to account for approximately 50% of national sales as far as I can tell…

Still since they cost 40-50 bucks a shot new, what do you expect? ;-)

You’re right, but I think that’s a good thing: most tech buyers are grown-ups, and I’d be annoyed if I was locked out of my content by default – particularly if the system used a patchy ratings scheme and blocked unrated content, so any video, game, ripped audio or whatever that preceded/didn’t use the ratings scheme would be locked out. Mind you, it’d be a good idea to have the parental rating/control/whatever as a key part of the system setup with any new console, computer or OS – a one-click skip if you don’t want to use it.

God, I hate that. The reaction when I proclaim to the pub that I have a large penis, I mean.

I’m here till Sunday! Try the veal!

I don’t understand people who feel the need to share every last detail of their sex lives. Or rather, I do understand it but I don’t want to hear it. One chap I used to know would go into great detail about his conquests, and it used to really annoy me – not least because it demonstrated an utter lack of respect for the women generous enough to sleep with him, which was particularly unfair as he was ugly as sin and should have been bloody grateful for any attention rather than dismissive of his erstwhile partners…

On the other hand:
If the culture wasn’t so nudge-nudge wink-wink then people might find it easier to talk about what’s going on.

Oh, I agree. As you know I’m an avid reader of women’s magazines in general and their problem pages in particular, and the level of ignorance and misinformation you find in them is really depressing. It’s even worse online: check out any health or lifestyle-related site with bulletin boards on relationship/sex topics and you’ll see all kinds of hang-ups, fears and anxieties – whether it’s “nice girls don’t do anything” or “all the magazines say I should be shagging 300 people a week, and I’m not. What’s wrong with me?”

I think our culture’s hyper-sexualised and that’s generally a bad thing, but at the same time I do think you can be too prurient. Particularly with teenagers: I don’t have a hyperlink handy but if I recall correctly the US states with the most hardline attitudes about sex education (“Don’t do anything, with anyone, ever, or you’ll go to the burny place”) have the highest rates of teen STDs. So I guess the hardliners are right, in a way: it’s just that the burny place the teenagers are experiencing is from an STD in their pants rather than in the core of the Earth :)

Good name for an album.

Fair nuff.

>>Also, it’s interesting that you are uncomfortable talking about sex, yet clearly feel that you ought to be comfortable, and ought to think that casual sex is fine.

I think that not being able to talk about sex is in itself quite destructive. I don’t necessarily mean proclaiming to the pub that you have a large penis or discussing your sex life in all its rather gooey detail, but being generally uncomfortable about discussing sex, whoever it may be, can cause issues in your relationship in that if something is an issue then it just festers and eventually comes out in some sort of emotional ketchup burst. There is a difference between choosing not to discuss sex for privacy and actually finding it next to impossible, irrespective of whether you’re discussing it with a stranger, a friend, family, a doctor or your partner. take something like erectile dysfunction, for example. This is extremely common, often completely psychological but something that men find very difficult to talk about as it is only ever talked about in locker-room type giggling conversations. It isn’t discussed so it tends to get worse which can cause severe damage to any relationship. If the culture wasn’t so nudge-nudge wink-wink then people might find it easier to talk about what’s going on.

>>and ought to think that casual sex is fine.

I do think it’s fine as long as there is nobody being lied to. Unfortunately, as with anything, there are people that can do it without having problems and be perfectly happy and there are those who can’t and end up damaged and there are those who are just there to fuck people over (quite literally. Actually its a bit like ebay). It isn’t something that I’ve ever really done but if someone else wants to do it then fine, but I agree that I don’t necessarily want to know all the ins and outs (pardon the pun)

>>It’s hard to see how current “permissive” ideas have made anyone happier (divorce rates continue to climb, and many don’t even bother to try to get married any more) so I tend to think that just maybe, the ideas that have survived for thousands of years deserve some consideration.

I’m not convinced that the argument that the increase in divorce rates is necessarily an indicator of people’s happiness. In the past it was frowned upon for someone to divorce so couples tended to stay together but it doesn’t mean that they were particularly happy about it. To be honest I would’ve thought that people were probably happier in relationships on average nowadays as fewer unhappy marraiges continue. A lot of folks aren’t getting married as there are less reasons to become married. The laws are changing slowly to give common-law couples the same rights, there are no tax breaks and many people just don’t subscribe to religion any more. An idea that has survived for many years as part of religious doctrine doesn’t mean that it deserves any more consideration as often these things are not really questioned. In any case that is a completely different argument.

Don’t get me wrong – if we ever have kids I’d wouldn’t want them to be looking at porn either.

>>We’re in danger of heading down a debating cul-de-sac, I think.

I think we probably are. I don’t think we’re ever going to agree on this, and since it’s a Friday night, I’m off down the pub to be surrounded by hormone-fuelled teenagers all trying to get laid. I feel old. :-D

Interesting, now I come to think of it, that the sexual revolution occurred twenty years earlier for actual behavior than it did for talking about it. You’d think it’d be the other way round.

I’m not sure that it is particularly clear. I’ve heard various horror stories about “progressive” parents (usually celebrities in the 70s) and how their kids grew up, but to be honest I reckon that I was a bit damaged by it never being mentioned in a particularly open way – either embarrassed parents, giggling schoolfriends or teachers talking about the mechanics and not the emotions. I always found the idea of sex to be extremely intimidating and to this day I’m still not particularly comfortable discussing it. I don’t think that’s healthy.

OK, what I meant was, exposed to the powerful emotions that sexuality can unleash in adults, without being able to understand them. This is a very disturbing experience, and it makes the child feel afraid, and inadequate. I suppose what you are talking about is the same thing on a less damaging scale: so that instead of being exposed to the raw emotion of a child molestor, or of men watching a stripper or pornography, you were exposed to the second-hand emotions of embarrassment or distance, and this has caused you to feel uncomfortable about it. I’m not sure the solution would have been to expose you to pornography.

Also, it’s interesting that you are uncomfortable talking about sex, yet clearly feel that you ought to be comfortable, and ought to think that casual sex is fine. That too is just another belief or value judgment, one prevalent in our age, yet not a particularly logical one. Why should you feel comfortable discussing sex with all and sundry? The only person who you should feel comfortable discussing sex with is your wife, because you are the only two people who really need concern themselves about it: if you are happy together, that’s all that matters.

Jewish law is clear that sex in marriage is to be highly valued, and protected, if it is to keep its holy status. Far from the stereotype of sexually repressed religious people, the Talmud is very forthright, even graphic, in describing the desired modes of sexual congress (for example, it is desirable that there be no clothing on either partner, to maximise bodily contact), and it is also very practical (thousands of years before feminism, there is a detailed discussion of how often a man is obligated to have sex with his wife, depending on how physically demanding his work is- an implicit recognition that women have a right to have and enjoy sex). But it is all to be kept completely private and within marriage. It’s hard to see how current “permissive” ideas have made anyone happier (divorce rates continue to climb, and many don’t even bother to try to get married any more) so I tend to think that just maybe, the ideas that have survived for thousands of years deserve some consideration.

No games consoles do it by default and I doubt vista does either. If it is default behaviour then you can argue that the parent is consenting to allow the kids to look at filth/violence/etc by disabling it. Puts the onus back on the parent rather than the retailer or publisher.

Smartarse. ;-)

Anyway, I said necessarily true rather than true. It may or may not be true but it doesn’t have to be.

On a tangent, I think my colleague looks like Nietzche.

Colleague – http://www.flickr.com/photos/mupwangle/273023152/
Nietzsche – http://taimur.sarangi.info/wp-content/photos/nietzsche_1.jpg

That’s what Vista does. It’s a good idea, not least because you can block unrated games too or limit the time spent on gaming.